


Long Road

by multi_fandomshipper1967



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-02-26 05:25:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2639753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multi_fandomshipper1967/pseuds/multi_fandomshipper1967
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Sammy out of that house, Dean couldn't imagine life could be better until he meets Castiel. Dean is caught between putting his brother through college by himself and devoting his time to getting Castiel out of a bad relationship. He hates to admit it but he wants Castiel to himself. After an awful turn of events, Dean decides to tell Castiel his feelings, only to find out he's always felt the same. Dean was wrong, life could get better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work I've ever published and I'm excited to see if anyone likes it. Enjoy!

Dean Winchester was okay with his normal life. He worked at the Roadhouse which was owned by Ellen, who was sort of a mother to him, and at Bobby’s garage. He went to school for mechanics on the side but he spent most of his valued time with his best (and closest) friend, Adam Milligan. He lived in a small apartment in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. He would listen to rock and roll until all hours of the night while he studied for exams and tests. His friend Ash owned the apartments so his rent wasn't that bad. He was content and happy.

He woke up one day at his desk; he had been studying all night for the final. _Rock of Ages_ by Def Leppard was playing on the radio next to him. He looked at his watch; 7:30, he had an hour till he needed to be at his first class. He got up and groggily walked to his bathroom. He took a quick shower, threw on a black band tee and some jeans, packed up his books, turned off the radio and left. He threw his books onto the passenger seat of the Impala, his most prized possession. It was an old ’67 Chevy Impala; it was in great condition for a car that had gone through what it did in the past. He drove to class, which was a few minutes from his apartment, and slipped in just before it started. Adam sat next to him and when the teacher stopped to look for something tapped his shoulder.

“Hey, why were you so late? You’re never this late, did you stay up all night or ‘stay up all night’?” he asked winking. Dean rolled his eyes and smiled.

“I was studying idiot,” Dean retorted in an annoying tone. The teacher returned to the lesson. Once that class was over, Dean had work at Bobby’s then worked at the Roadhouse. Adam walked with Dean to the garage since it was a block from the college. Adam was going on about the class but Dean wasn't listening, he tried but failed. Then Adam said something that caught his attention.

“You know that guy named Castiel, well anyway apparently he’s dating Balthazar which is kind of weird but whatever, what they are into isn’t my problem but it’s just weird because Balthazar always seemed like the type of guy that has women all over him. By the way, you still up for drinks tomorrow at the Roadhouse? Ellen said that you had mentioned it to her so I’m going to guess you are still going to go,” Adam just kept talking but Dean was only thinking about what he said about Castiel. Castiel was a guy that Dean had only seen around campus but he never quite got the courage to talk to the guy. He had this adorable brown messy hair and piercing blue eyes that could stop your heart if you looked at them for too long. Dean often looked at him from afar but it wasn’t as if he was in love. The guy was just interesting to him.

“Yeah, I’m still going. I don’t see why but I’ll go,” Dean sighed. They stood outside the garage for a bit. Adam looked Dean up and down and raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“You look different. Have you been sleeping a lot lately?” Adam asked suspiciously

“Yes, I have been, quite a bit lately. Why?” Dean hated to be interrogated by Adam all the time. This wasn't the first time this week, Dean missed one meal and you would’ve thought the world exploded.

“You look tired and bored and everything in between. I worry because if I don’t who will?”

“Sam, he worries a lot,”

“Yeah but he’s all the way in Lawrence, Kansas. He can’t watch you like I can,”

“You two need to stop talking to each other, it’s very annoying and bothersome,” Dean said before turning to walk into the garage. “See you later, bro,”

“Mhm, bye,” Adam said skeptically before walking off to his apartment. Bobby was in his office like usual but he wasn’t alone. A man in jeans and leather jacket over a black shirt stood there talking to him, they were whispering. Dean knocked on the door to catch Bobby’s attention.

“Hey, I’m checking in, where did you put my bike?” Dean asked.

“It’s in the back, but I need you to clean some parts before you work on that, and Rufus here needs new tires apparently,” Bobby said a little bit of annoyance in his voice. Rufus was one of Bobby’s oldest friends and Dean had never seen another man annoy the hell out of Bobby like Rufus does. Bobby still put up with it though.

“Oh, hey Rufus, good to see you. Okay, I’ll get started on that now, anything else?”

“Not for now, thanks boy,” Bobby smiled. Dean nodded and set to work. When he was done, Rufus came out and continued to talk to Bobby who was getting more annoyed by the second. Once, Rufus was gone Bobby came up to where Dean was working and helped for a bit.

“I have to go run something to Ellen, the woman is so persistent,” Bobby said.

“I thought that’s why you married her?” Dean smirked.

“It is but if I had known she’d be worse once we married I would've cancelled it. I’ll be out for a while, keep the boys working and customers happy,” Bobby grabbed his keys and left. Dean finished his work then started working on his own bike. It needed a lot of work after he wrecked it last week, this was the second time he’d been able to work on it. While working on the bike, a boy in jeans and a grey hoodie came up to him, it was Castiel and Dean was instantly curious.

“I came to see a Bobby Singer, is he around?” Castiel asked quietly.

“No, sorry he had to go talk to his wife; he won’t be back for a while. But maybe I could help you?” Dean stood. Castiel nodded and pulled out a receipt, handing it to Dean.

“Ah, you’re the one that needed the new battery, just got it today so this should be easy and fun. Show me the vehicle and we’ll do this,” Dean said smiling and Castiel smiled a bit and left to get his car. It didn’t take very long but while he was working Bobby came back.

“You working on Novak’s car?” Bobby asked, Dean maneuvered to look at the old man.

“Yeah, you weren’t here and I didn’t know how long it would take for you to come back, didn’t seem right to have the guy wait so I just went for it, I know what I’m doing after all,” Dean said, Bobby just nodded and walked into his office. Dean finished quickly then got up to wash his hands but was stopped by Bobby.

“Brothers on the phone, something’s up,” He said quietly. Dean was instantly worried, Sammy still lived with their father even though he should be in college; the dumb drunk wouldn’t let Sam leave. Dean couldn’t think of the things that might’ve happened in his absence, but he picked up the receiver nonetheless.

“Sammy?” Dean asked.

 _“Hey, Dean, so dad is out cold and we just had this huge fight, I don’t want to be here anymore, I know this is last minute but I was wondering if…if I could come up and live with you or something until I could figure something out? I understand if you’re too busy or stressed or whatever but he told me to leave and I’m taking this chance,”_ Sam quickly explained. John had finally said the words that Sam was praying he would say, he told the kid to leave and he would no longer support him even though Sam was the one supporting. Dean had left that house the minute he turned 18, he was kicked out mostly but he told Sam he was leaving. Dean just left and he’d been trying to get Sam out since. Sam was now almost 19 but John refused to let him leave on the account that Sam would just leave and wouldn’t come back, which was true. Sam hated that house more than Dean, although John blamed both of them about their mother’s sudden death a few years back. Dean was just glad that half the time John was passed out because he drank too much.

“Yeah, Sammy, that’d be great, you could come live with me, I don’t care. Ash’ll understand,” Dean said after a bit.

 _“Thanks, Dean, again I’m sorry this is so sudden but he told me that he wanted me out by Saturday, this should be good,”_ Sam sounded happy for once.

“Don’t worry about it; I’ll pick up another shift at the Roadhouse or at the garage to help with school for you, just till you get back on your feet,”

_“You don’t have to do that Dean; I can get my own job or something,”_

“We’ll figure it out, just get up here and we’ll figure all of this out,”

_“Okay, see you Saturday,”_

“See you too,” Dean hung up and sighed. He leaned against the wall with his head in his hands. Someone walked into the office and Dean assumed it was Bobby. When he looked up he did a double take, it was Castiel. He didn't say anything; he just stood in the doorway looking confusedly at Dean.

“I was looking for Bobby again. Uhm, are you okay?” He asked concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Bobby should be back in a bit; I think he went to go check if the battery was put in perfectly, kind of a perfectionist,” Dean said sitting in Bobby’s chair. Castiel took a seat and waited quietly. Then he looked at Dean with a confused look on his face again.

“Do I know you?” He asked. Dean stared at him.

“Not really, we have a few classes together but we've never talked,” Dean answered matter-of-factually. Bobby walked and looked at Dean.

“Boy, how many times do I have to tell you stay out of my chair, it ain’t for you,” Bobby said with a smile in his eyes. Dean rolled his eyes and got up. “Seems to be in order, Mr. Novak. Dean, stay in here, we need to talk,” Bobby handed Castiel his keys. Dean was almost out of the door when Bobby had grabbed him and pulled him back in. Dean rolled his eyes and turned around and leaned against the door frame. Castiel quietly paid then left. Bobby quickly turned his attention to Dean.

“What was wrong?” Bobby asked obviously talking about the phone call.

“Dad kicked him out,” Dean sighed.

“That’s a good thing though, right? Why did he seem so upset?”

“Because he has until Saturday, so a day and he lost his job last week so he can’t pay for school. But he’s going to live with me and I’m going to help him so can I take up more shifts here or do you think Ellen would let me?” Bobby stared at him dumbfounded.

“Son, you’re already working half of the time. If I gave you more shifts or even if Ellen did that would mean cutting into your classes. We can’t do that and you know we can’t,”

“But Bobby, I need to help him, after all I left him with dad, I owe him this,” Bobby looked him in the eye. He knew he wouldn’t be able to shake Dean of that thought. The kid was too stubborn.

“Fine, you aren’t working week days though, weekends only. Now, go, you’re done for the day,”

“Thank you so much Bobby,” Bobby just nodded and went through papers. Dean walked to his car in the parking lot of the school.

He drove to the Roadhouse which was a block from his apartment. When he got in there it was just like it normally was, the usual people with a few others. Ellen looked up when he walked in; he quickly got to the kitchen to clean up. Benny was at the grill and was busying himself with a few hamburgers. Ellen stopped him before he could get anything done.

“Bobby called; you want to work extra shifts? Are you crazy? You work enough as it is,” Ellen looked him in the eyes.

“I was supposed to be the one to ask not him. Ellen, please, Sam has no way to pay for college and you know the kid deserves it. He just got kicked out, we’ve been waiting for this for a while now,” Dean hated to plead but when it came to his brother, he would sell his soul. Ellen shifted on her feet, put her hands on her hips and sighed.

“Dean Winchester, you listen to me now, Sam would not want you to give up your time to put him through college. He wouldn’t want you to even sacrifice your college education for his either, no you didn’t say that but you were thinking it. Bobby said you’d work extra shifts on weekends, Sam knows that if he needs a job here, he’ll get one. You are not getting extra shifts because if you work anymore harder than you do right now, you’ll be in the ground before I am. You forget that he has us too. He’ll understand, you aren’t his father, you’re his brother,” She said sternly looking Dean in the eyes. Dean just nodded that he understood and she patted his shoulder.

“Now get to work, Benny’s been complaining about slow orders for some time and if he does it again, I’m gonna strangle the kid,” she said the last bit louder for Benny to hear. Benny scoffed and went back to grilling. Dean worked until close; finally after every costumer was gone Dean sat down on a stool and ate his supper. Benny sat next to him eating too, he was talking to Bobby about a game or something; Dean honestly wasn’t paying attention.

Suddenly there was a small tap on his shoulder. Dean turned to see Jo standing there with a small smile on her face. Dean had always treated her as his sister, and in return she treated him as an older brother. She sat onto the stool next to him and switched out his empty beer with a full one. She didn’t say anything for a while, just sat there.

“Dean,” she murmured looking up at him. “I don’t want to pry but I overheard you and mom talking and I’m going to guess that Sam is moving in with you and he’s going to college right?” Dean nodded a little. “Well, maybe I could help? I mean I have a bit saved but I could pitch in a little,”

“Jo, thank you but you know that Sam wouldn’t be okay with him using that money. Have you seen the kid? Have you talked to him? He doesn’t like to take money from people especially if they’ve saved every penny they’ve earned,” Dean said, Jo just nodded and walked away. Sam would be here in a day, and in that time Dean would save what he could to help his brother get through college.

When he was done he checked out with Ellen and drove home. He came in through his bedroom door and just collapsed on his bed. He didn’t bother undressing or showering or even brushing his teeth. He was dead tired and passed out right away.

 

The next morning he woke up to his phone buzzing on his bedside table. He grabbed it and picked it up without even looking at caller ID.

“Hello?” he asked groggily. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, he was still too tired.

 _“Hey, are you still asleep?”_ it was Adam. Dean just made a ‘mhm’ sound and Adam sighed. _“Well, you need to get up like now; your first class is in 20 minutes and it’s kind of important. Also don’t forget tonight is party night at the Roadhouse and be there or I will personally kick you half way across town,”_ Dean huffed a small laugh and sat up.

“Adam, has it ever occurred to you that maybe just maybe you might not be as tough as you try to sound? Because personally right now I am not worried or scared or anything, I’ll be there, I swear now leave me alone so I can get to class,” Dean said hanging up the phone. He quickly got dressed and walked out to his car. He was halfway there when he saw Castiel walking quickly. He slowed down next to him.

“Hey, do you need like a ride or something?” Dean asked. Castiel looked over at him and smiled.

“A ride would be awesome and helpful actually,” He said before getting in. He smelled really good; like pine or something. Dean couldn’t really place it.

“I thought you had a car?” Dean asked breaking the silence.

“I don’t but Balthazar does. He had errands early this morning and he didn’t want me to have to wait the extra hour till class starts so he let me fall back asleep. Forgot to set the alarm clock though,” Castiel explained idly. Dean smiled and laughed.

“I forgot too, I have class in about 10 or 15 minutes, Adam Milligan woke me up by calling thankfully. The kid is practically my brother,” Dean laughed. Castiel smiled and looked at him.

“Adam Milligan? Is he the short blonde kid that just kind of sits in the back and is normally quiet?”

“Yeah, he’s a good kid, reminds me of my actual brother. We’ve been friends since freshman year when we were roommates,” Castiel looked at him surprised.

“You have an actual brother? Everyone always said that you were an only kid,”

“I don’t talk about him very much I guess. Nobody around here really knows him,” Castiel nodded. They’d pulled into the parking lot of the school.

“Thanks for the ride, I greatly appreciate it,” Castiel said and waved at Dean before running to his class. Dean glanced at his watch and quickly walked to his class.

He’d missed a call from Adam while in class, no surprise the kid was always too eager about everything.

‘ _Hey, so tonight at the Roadhouse I need you to look nice but don’t outshine me. And your brother called saying that he’d be up at here at 3 in the afternoon Saturday. He didn’t want to call you because he figured you were in class. You aren’t getting out of this party tonight like you have two nights already. I don’t care if you have an exam or an essay or whatever, you’re going, you’re staying and you’re going to have a great time. I heard Lisa was going and she really wants to see you. See you tonight,’_ He tended to jump topics a lot. It was really weird but Dean was used to it. Dean didn’t work Fridays at the garage or Roadhouse which was helpful. He had two more classes to go to then he was ready to go home. He knew blowing off this party again would piss Adam off so he took a small nap, quick shower and showed up at Adam’s around 8. Adam looked excited, way too excited about this party that he’s gone too about four times.

Although, Dean enjoyed parties and drinking and everything in between, he was not necessarily enjoying it tonight. He was tired and worried and most of all he couldn’t stop thinking about Castiel. It was starting to drive him up the wall. Why would he be having thoughts about a guy he’s only talked to about twice and he didn’t know anything about the guy. All he knew was that Castiel was gay and he was with Balthazar, the weird British alcoholic that seemed to know everything about everyone on campus.

While in the middle of thinking about this, Lisa walked up and smiled up at him. She was honestly really pretty and Dean liked her. She was nice and funny and just plain perfect.

“Hey, what’s up?” She asked leaning on the bar next to him. He smiled at her, green eyes glowing.

“Nothing just making sure Adam doesn’t go too crazy tonight, the kid has no limits,” Dean laughed.

“He really doesn’t. He must be lucky to have a friend like you that’s willing to look after him when he can’t. Did he drag you here?”

“He’s been asking me to come all week and I finally had to say yes before I killed the kid. He wants me to be looser apparently. I haven’t really been one for parties lately,”

“I’ve noticed. You never seem to leave your small apartment unless you’re going to class or work,” She smiled and moved in closer. “Anyway, I’m glad he dragged you here, you need a nice night out. No responsibilities, no studying or anything like it,” She grabbed her drink and walked off. Dean was down to his third beer when he decided he needed air. He walked out and leaned against the wall idly sipping his drink. He was tired and couldn’t think straight from all the alcohol. Adam was at least having a good time, it’s not that Dean was having a bad time he just didn’t want to be here of all days. It was Friday and he just wanted to sleep off the stress from the week. With Christmas rolling around, which meant finals and exams, and Sam finally being able to leave that God-forsaken house, there was a lot going on. Extra shifts, extra studying, extra attention to school, everything.

While he happened to be thinking about finals and his brother, Castiel and Balthazar walked up, they were holding hands which, for some odd reason, struck Dean with bit of anger and jealousy. He quickly brushed it off, telling himself _‘It’s nothing for you to get jealous about; you don’t even like the kid.’_ They were walking past and Castiel stopped when he recognized Dean.

“Dean Winchester, oh this is Balthazar, my boyfriend. Balthy, this is the guy I was telling you about,” Castiel said smiling. Dean smiled at Balthazar and stuck out his hand; Balthazar took it and held eye contact, which made Dean suddenly uncomfortable.

“As he said, Dean Winchester, sorry I’m not more myself. My friend dragged me to this party and I’ve already had four drinks, so I’m a little buzzed,” Dean said smiling.

“Oh, don’t worry, I fully understand, I’m a drinker myself. I wanted to come tonight and Cassy came to meet up with one of his friends,”

“Meg, she had been excited the whole week, said the Roadhouse was the place to be tonight. She seemed overly excited,” Castiel explained.

“Well, when you guys go in, tell the bartender you’re a friend of Dean Winchester; he’ll give you whatever you want. I know the owner of this place, she’s kind of my mother,” Dean said before he wave and walked off. He found an alley and stopped. He pulled out his carton of cigarettes, he hadn’t smoked since he came to college but kept a carton around when he felt he needed one. Sam used to take the cigarette right out of his mouth and crush it beneath his foot and yell at Dean for being an idiot. Dean only smoked because he was stressed; maybe that was the problem now. Things got to serious too quickly and he just needed to do something. He hated it but it always happened.

Once he was done, he thought it best to go back to the Roadhouse, he did promise Adam he wouldn’t leave. Adam, though, was too drunk to notice that Dean even left. Dean wouldn’t leave while Adam was having such great time, so he just went back to his original spot, leaning against the bar. He was getting a new drink when he noticed Castiel leaning against the wall. He walked over and the closer he got the better he got a look at the guy.

Castiel has messy dark hair that hadn’t quite hit black. He was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt, with a brown jacket over it. He was really perfectly skinny, not too small but not very big. His blue eyes were trained onto a phone; he didn’t look much into it though. He was drinking a bit but not too much, he’d only had one. Dean almost stopped and would’ve been able to stare at him all night but he knew that wasn’t possible. Instead he walked up and leaned next him quietly. Castiel looked up and smiled. He had headphones in his ears; he took one out to talk to Dean.

“Hey, having fun?” Dean asked. Castiel smiled and looked at the crowd.

“Not as much fun as Balthazar apparently, it’s going to take forever to get him home tonight. I hate taking him to parties,” Castiel said.

“Same with Adam, except he’s going to a different place, I still have to study and clean and now I’m regretting him dragging me here,” Castiel laughed and looked at him.

“Well, Adam is having a lot of fun apparently but you’ll be the one picking up tomorrow I suspect?”

“Sadly, yes, he’ll most likely call me and make me drop everything to hold his head while he throws up in his toilet. Again,”

“That makes you a great friend. I’ll be nursing Balthazar’s hangover tomorrow which means a lot of trips to the drug store and no lights on in the apartment,”

“Oh, the things we do for friendship and love,” Dean said with a laugh. Castiel changed the song but was still listening to Dean. “What’re you listening to?”

“OneRepublic, it’s my favorite band,” Castiel said smiling. He had a beautiful smile that seemed to brighten everything. Dean quickly stopped thinking about that.

“Only heard them once, they’re pretty good,”

“Okay, so what do you listen to?”

“Well, a lot of rock and roll, like Def Leppard, AC/DC, Metallica, stuff like that,” Castiel laughed and looked at Dean.

“Really? Wow, Dean Winchester, you are exactly how I expected you to be,”

“What does that mean?” Dean asked skeptically.

“You look like the type of guy that listens to old rock and roll, drinks with his best friends, tries too hard, you’re built like a freaking athlete yet you do no sports. You’re great with cars and I only assumed this because you happen to have a 1967 Chevy Impala in working condition that never has any problems and you work at Bobby’s garage. You are like an open book,” Castiel laughed a bit and took a drink.

“Okay, so you know a lot about me because you’ve stalked me?”

“No, of course not, I noticed the little things you did every now and then like staring at me from across the square or from across campus. Or like you stealing glances while in class, and yes, I know you do because I see you,” Dean blushed, he had only stared at Castiel like twice in one of his classes and that was because he was curious about him, like all the other times. He would just look at him from the side because he did want anyone to notice. Apparently someone did, Castiel.

“Well, uh, I didn’t…I mean I was just…I wasn’t like…” Dean stuttered. Castiel chuckled under his breath and patted Dean’s shoulder.

“It’s fine, honestly, I have been looking at you but not the same you might’ve been looking at me,” Castiel sighed and Dean was about to ask what he meant when Adam walked up. He was wasted and basically incoherent but he still tried.

“Deeaaaan, have you drank anything, I don’t even remember you drinking. I’ve had like 10 or like 15, I don’t know, I lost count after the eighth one,” He giggled and fell against Dean laughing.

“Alright, buddy, you need to go home, I’ll drive you. We have a big day tomorrow and you are helping no matter how big of a headache you have,” Dean looked at Castiel and smiled. “Sorry, but I have to get him home. Maybe you and Balthazar could stop by tomorrow or something, if he isn’t completely out of it,” Castiel laughed a bit, it was apparently really easy to make him laugh.

“I’ll see you around Dean because I know that he won’t be up and ready to walk around tomorrow. Have fun,” he smiled back and Dean half carried Adam out of the Roadhouse into his car. He tried to get Adam to sit still enough for him to put his seatbelt on but after 2 minutes of getting whacked in the face by his flying hands, Dean gave up. Adam talked on the way to his house but he wasn’t actually making sentences, just saying words and giggling like a little girl. Dean just huffed a few laughs and finally got him home. He dragged Adam into his apartment because at this point Adam didn’t even help, he’d probably passed out. Dean threw him onto his bed and pulled the covers around him and locked the door behind him.

When he got home he was almost asleep. Again he slept in his clothes and passed out on the bed.

 

He was pushed awake by a massive wall of plaid and hair. Dean rolled over onto his other side and tried to fall back asleep. Only to have the massive wall of plaid and hair come around and push him again, then finally the huge mass walked away. Dean was happy and almost fell back asleep. Then Back in Black started resonating from the radio and it was at its loudest setting, Dean sat up in bed, ran out into the living room and slammed it off.

“What the hell?!” Dean yelled looking at the mass. It was Sam and had Dean not just been freaked awake by the radio, he would’ve been happy to see him. Dean tried to walk back to his room, he was too tired to worry about this now, but Sam moved in front of him stopping him. Dean looked up at him, he was trying not to be pissed at the kid, and it wasn’t working.

“Dean, you can’t sleep all day, plus you need to help me move in, remember?” Sam smiled looking at Dean expectedly.

“Yeah that was before I drank and stayed out way to late last night,” Dean said grumpily.

“Okay and whose fault was that?” Sam asked expectedly.

“Adam’s actually, now can I go back to sleep?” Sam shook his head and turned Dean towards the kitchen.

“There’s coffee in there, made especially for you. You seriously have to help then we’re going to the grocery store, you have no food at all,” Sam stated. Dean grumbled but drank two cups of coffee and helped Sam unpack his truck. They took a small break when they finished and Dean took a shower and got dressed. They walked to the small store a few blocks away from the apartment. They browsed quickly, fighting over what to get.

“Dude, get some pie,” Dean insisted. Sam turned around and looked Dean up and down. “What?”

“You’ve gained weighted, probably from the pie,” Sam observed smiling.

“Shut up, we’re aren’t getting your damn rabbit food though,”

“It’s healthy,”

“No, it’s stupid. We’re men, we’re human, and not a freaking deer or rabbit, so we’ll eat like humans. Now go get the pie before I kick your butt,” Sam chuckled as he walked away towards the back. Dean kept browsing, putting random food items into the basket.

“You don’t seem as hung-over as you thought you would,” a rough voice said from beside him. He turned to see Castiel with a bottle of Tylenol and a box of Ho-hos. Dean smiled, must be for Balthazar.

“I took a nice shower and had two cups of coffee,” Dean laughed. Castiel smiled brightly, eyes lighting up.

“Good, Balthazar is a bit grumpy. I had to make a stop here, they have their own section for him almost,” Castiel looked down chuckling to himself. Dean couldn’t help but stare. Castiel’s hair was all messed up giving him a just-woke-up look. His blue eyes shone like the sea on a hot morning before it’s disturbed by wind or swimming creatures; calm.

Sam walked up and thrust a chocolate pie into Dean’s hands.

“There, got the best one there. Just saying you’re getting big and it’s unhealthy,” Sam remarked.

“Oh, I think he’s fine, granted his physical stature may not be the best but he’s smart,” Castiel interjected. “I’m Castiel by the way,”

“Ah, Sam Winchester, Dean’s younger brother,” Sam introduced himself with a smile.

“Ah yes, Dean told me about you. Not a whole lot just that you exist,”

“I just moved here, I’ll be going to the college next fall. Do you go to school here?”

“Yeah, I’m majoring in psychology. What about you?”

“Law, I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer,” These two were becoming friends way to fast, it freaked Dean out.

“Oh, you must be good at debates then, isn’t that the point of that?” Sam laughed and looked at Dean, who was staring at Castiel the whole time.

“That’s some of it. Okay, well, I’ll go pay and meet you at the doors,” Sam announced taking the basket from Dean. He walked away before Dean could protest.

“Your brother seems nice, I never knew you had one,” Castiel smiled looking up at Dean.

“Yeah, he loved down with my dad, who just kicked him out, so he’ll be living with me for the time being. He’s a good kid,” Dean said smiling a bit. Castiel stepped closer but not too close to make Dean uncomfortable.

“Hey, um, you want to hang out sometime? Maybe go to the Roadhouse?” Dean asked shyly. Castiel looked into his eyes and held contact.

“Dean Winchester, are you asking me out on a date?” Castiel laughed.

“No, I’m not, I hope it’s not coming out like that,” Dean couldn’t help but feel nervous a bit.

“Yes, I would love to come and hang out with you at the Roadhouse. It’s Monday after class okay?”

“Actually yeah, the garage is closed Mondays; Bobby works at the Roadhouse that day. I’ll pick you up after class,”

“Sounds great,” Castiel nodded and moved to turn around.

“See you then,” Dean said after him. He heard Castiel chuckle before he walked away.

Dean met Sam at the front; Sam was smiling like a maniac. Dean didn’t acknowledge how happy he was that Castiel had said yes, and he didn’t know why he was that happy. Dean pushed out the doors and walked towards the apartment.

“So, how about that Castiel,” Sam smirked. Dean looked at him from the side.

“Shut up, leave me alone about it,” Dean growled.

“That is so cute, my brother is gay!” Sam jumped a bit.

“Okay, one: bisexual, there’s a correct term for it. Two: he has a boyfriend and we’re just friends,”

“Yeah, for now, this is awesome. I’m so happy for you. So, what’d you plan?” Sam asked intrigued, he was acting like a little girl. Dean rolled his eyes, he hated Sam sometimes.

“We’re going to the Roadhouse on Monday after class,”

“Do you know his schedule?”

“A little,”

“Are you excited? What do you think will happen?”

“I am actually and I’m not sure,” Dean said walking a bit faster. Sam ran to catch up.

Adam wasn’t in a happy mood but he could still crack a joke. He said he’d been puking all morning and doesn’t remember anything from the night before. Dean told him everything, aside from what Dean had been actually doing, and Adam seemed happy that he was able to actually do a keg stand.

“How did I get home though?” Adam asked looking really confused.

“Castiel and I helped you into my car and I brought you home, put you in bed and went home,” Dean explained.

“So how hung over are you?”

“Not that much, just a small headache. How are you doing?”

“I want to die but I’m awesome. So Sam, when did you move in?” Adam looked at Sam with tired eyes, he looked like he was about to pass out.

“This morning, I woke Dean up and he helped a bit,” Sam answered smiling.

“A bit? I did all of it,” Dean interjected. Sam punched his shoulder.

“No, I had to carry in most of it in while you whined about your headache. Small headache, no, this guy was freaking out because he thought he would die,” Sam joked.

“When did I do this? I don’t remember,”

“Probably because you were too busy yelling at me and being a douche even though the headache was your fault because you aren’t responsible,”

“Whatever, I am so responsible, more than anyone else. I got Adam home safely,”

“Define safely?” Adam said tiredly.

“I got you home at least, you drinking too much was all you, you wouldn’t stop,” Dean said. Adam smiled a little.

“I’m sure I was having fun,” Adam said laughing. “I wouldn’t know though, I don’t remember,”

“Yeah, were because you wouldn’t stop talking about it the whole way to your apartment,” Dean couldn’t help but smile.

“Okay, fine it was both of your faults. Now, Adam do you want to come over or would you rather sleep?” Sam asked looking at Adam who was already getting up.

“Sleep sounds great actually,” He walked into his room and shut the door after him. Dean and Sam took their leave and walked slowly back to their apartment. They talked about random things on the way, the way they would when they were younger and were riding in the car with their father. Dean loved having Sam around again; he loved his brother because Sam was just so easy to talk to. He also liked that Sam was finally able to leave and get the education he deserves after all this time. Dean was hoping good things would come from all of this.

Sam unpacked when they got back while Dean watched television. Thankfully, Ash, when Dean first moved in, took in the account of Sam maybe moving in and gave Dean a two bedroom apartment. Dean had been using it as a study but now it went to Sam as a bedroom.

When Sam finished he made supper. They ate mac&cheese and watched some weird paranormal tv show. Dean went to sleep around twelve-o’clockish. He was bone tired and he had finals coming up and he hadn’t even started to study. He hit the bed, pulled the covers around him and fell asleep instantly.

 

Dean woke up the next morning to the smell of something cooking which wasn’t normal. And then he heard voices, which was even more abnormal. He pushed himself out of bed and groaned quietly. His body hurt and he wasn’t sure why. The wood floors were freezing and creaked way too loudly. He padded out of his room into the living room. The television was on yet no one was watching it.

“What is even happening?” Dean asked quietly. He turned it off and moved to the kitchen.

Adam and Sam were talking and sitting at the table. They stopped talking and looked at him when Dean came in.

“What are you doing here, Adam? It’s morning,” Dean said sitting down with a groan. Adam laughed as Sam pushed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of Dean. Dean didn’t know he was hungry but he started to eat.

“I came over to see Sam, he’s like my brother,” Adam laughed. Dean scoffed a bit.

“What does that make me? We’ve known each other longer,” Dean mentioned.

“I don’t know, blood brothers maybe, why are you jealous that I came to see him and not you?” Adam said laughing and smile brightly.

“Shut up. Sam, if this is how you’re gonna cook every morning, you don’t have to pay rent,” Sam laughed and got up to turn off the stove.

“I was just telling Adam about your little thing with Castiel,” Sam said looking at Dean. Adam’s smile got wider.

“Why?” Dean asked bitterly. Sam shrugged and smiled.

“Because he needs to know, he is your only friend here. Adam likes the idea though,”

“I like it, he’s nice, Dean. And so what if you turn out to be gay,” Adam said nonchalantly

“I’m not gay,” Dean countered.

“Fine, bisexual, whatever but you’ll still have us,” Adam said happily. Sam sat down and smiled. “So do you like him?”

“Do we have to talk about this?” Dean asked miserably.

“Yes, actually,” Adam said. Dean rolled his eyes.

“I regret waking up,”

“Come on, talk about him,” Adam pushed. Adam was stubborn sometimes; it was annoying after a while. Sam was laughing to himself, trying to hide it no doubt.

“No,”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to and we’re only friends. I want to get to know the guy. Besides if I was bisexual or gay, which I’m not, I wouldn’t have a chance. He has a boyfriend,”

“You’re right, he’s like attached to the guy. But I’ve been hearing people talk, well one time from Castiel’s closest friend, Meg. Apparently, there are some complications between Castiel and Balthazar,” Dean tried not to seem interested.

“Like what?” he asked casually.

“Balthazar wants to go back home and his parents are religious so they wouldn’t approve of his life here because he drinks and sleeps with a man. But he wants to go home but Castiel wants him to stay here, so they’ve been fighting a lot and looks like Castiel is giving up,” How did Adam get all of this from one encounter with Meg?

“I need to talk to Meg,” Dean whispered.

“Why? I thought you didn’t like him?” Sam mocked.

“I don’t but I need to know more because I don’t want to say something wrong and piss him off or something,” Dean said. Nice save, he thought to himself.

“Sure,” Sam said smiling. Maybe not. Dean got up and grabbed his leather jacket and keys. “Where are you going?”

“Well, work for one, I forgot I have extra shifts,” Dean stopped and ate the last bit of bacon left “Then I need to find Meg. Where’s the closest bar?”

“Like two buildings down from the Roadhouse,” Adam said looking at that morning’s paper. Dean turned around and looked at him confused.

“Wait, if there’s a bar two buildings down from the Roadhouse, then why didn’t we drink there?” Dean asked.

“Don’t ask stupid questions. Go!” Adam said eating a piece of bread. Dean left to Sam chuckling and leaning across the table telling Adam something.

 Dean wasn’t late, he was actually early. Bobby was startled to see Dean so early, but happy nonetheless. Dean worked on various cars and trucks. Putting in a battery here, changing a tire there, and fixing this, taking apart that. He didn’t know why but he was very into everything he was doing. He had just moved to the last car that needed the engine fixed when Bobby walked up. Bobby handed him a paycheck.

“There’s your check for the week. Now, run down to the Roadhouse, we have an order out for five burgers, get yourself one,” Bobby started to walk away, Dean stopped him.

“Wait, why am I the delivery man? I thought that was Andy’s job?” Dean asked confused. Bobby looked at him with annoyed eyes.

“Andy can’t drive; the idjit got his car taken away. Now, hurry before the boys start to eat you,” Dean grabbed his keys from the rack and drove over to the Roadhouse. Jo was working and had the burgers in a white bag next to her, ready to go. Her blonde hair wrapped high in a bun; she wore a blue plaid flannel with jeans and boots. She looked up and a little surprised when he walked in.

“I didn’t know you were working today,” she said. “Need another one?”

“Yes, Bobby didn’t order me one for some reason,” Dean said sitting on a stool next to the register.

“Benny, we need another one, Dean Special,” Jo yelled through the open kitchen door. There was a bang and a lot of grumbling. Jo came back rolling her eyes, leaning across the bar table.

“So how are you? You barely work anymore,” Dean said fiddling with a toothpick. Jo laughed a little and brushed a piece of blonde hair from her face.

“Mostly school, mom wants me to have a good education,” She answered.

“Don’t you?”

“I’m not sure, I mean I want to take over the Roadhouse but I want something better. I don’t know,”

“What do you want to go into anyway? We’ve never actually talked about this,” Dean was actually interested in this because Jo was his ‘sister’ he cared about her like he cared about Sammy.

“Nursing, I’ve always wanted to be one,” She said quickly

“Really? I can see it, you’re a good enough person,” Which was true. She was one of the nicest people he knew.

“What about you? You didn’t always want to be a mechanic,” Dean laughed and looked at the bar table. He hadn’t thought about what he wanted to do in forever. He couldn’t answer, he wasn’t really sure. He’d never considered himself smart enough to be a nurse or lawyer or really anything else.

“I guess I’ve always wanted to be a mechanic. I don’t know, I’m not good at a whole lot,” he answered after a while. Jo looked at him with a serious expression that kind of scared him.

“Winchester, we both know that isn’t true,” She stated while taking the wrapped burger from Benny. She put it in the white bag and passed it to Dean. “Bobby’s got it covered. Tell your brother he needs to come visit, mom will be ticked if he doesn’t soon,” Dean nodded and walked towards his car.

Dean ate then got back to work while everyone else finished. Bobby came over and told him it was time for Dean to clock out. He grabbed his keys and drove to the bar two buildings away from the Roadhouse. He had seen Meg with Castiel multiple times; he’d never talked to her though. He asked the bartender, who laughed when Dean asked if he knew her then laughed harder when Dean asked if he knew where she was.

“Yeah, she’s the one over there, the one drinking tequila like it’s her job,” he said nodding towards the right side of the bar. She was engrossed by tequila and a piece of paper and didn’t look up when Dean approached.

“Are you Meg?” Dean asked. She laughed a bit.

“Depends on what you need,” She replied, annoyance brimming in her words. She was pretty but her attitude took away from it. She looked Dean up and down once. “Dean, Winchester, isn’t it? Never thought I’d see you here,”

“Shut up, I have a serious question,” Dean started but Meg stopped him.

“I won’t sleep with you,”

“Meg, let me talk! Do you know anything about Castiel and Balthazar? Like what they’re going through?” Meg smiled and leaned forward, towards him.

“Dean has a love interest, this is cute,” She smiled a devilish smile. Dean rolled his eyes. Was this really worth it?

“Just answer the question,” Dean demanded.

“Yeah, what do you want to know?”

“Everything,” She shifted uncomfortably.

“Look, Dean, I don’t know why you need this information and I’m not going to dare to ask why anyway but this is a very private thing. It’s a wonder he even told me,”

“Then how does Adam Milligan know?”

“Adam Milligan, as in that short idiot that seems to know everyone? I don’t know but I highly doubt he heard it from me,”

“He did, he heard you talking about it with someone else, eavesdropping,”

“That douchebag, well, I’m not telling you,”

“Meg, please, this is very important,”

“Look, Deano, I can’t go around telling everyone, I was talking with Balthazar’s friends to make sure the story was straight. I can’t tell you anything, Cas would have my hide,”

“Fine, tell me a little bit. Please, I just need to know minor details, Cas won’t find out I swear,” She looked him up and down again. She was contemplating the idea at least. Finally, she sighed and pointed to the seat next to her, Dean took it and listened.

“If Cas does find out, I’m going to kill you. But the most I know is that Cas keeps talking about how Balthazar is being moody. All he wants to do it drink and never with Cas around. Cas thinks it’s time to call a quits. He’s planning it anyway, then Balthazar moves back and Cas goes on with his life. I’m meeting him tomorrow for some lunch and we’re going to talk about it. Castiel seems pretty upset about it all,” She took a drink from a tall glass and shifted a bit so she was looking fully at Dean. “Is that all?”

“How upset is he?” Dean questioned.

“He’s constantly in a bad mood, he rarely leaves the house and when he does it’s because Balthazar is having a fit. Like the party the other night, Balthazar wouldn’t stop badgering him about going and Castiel ended up taking care of him the next day. He hates it and it’s ruining him,” She looked him dead in the eye as she said this. “I don’t know why you need this information or what it has to do with you but if you hurt him anyway at this time when he is the most fragile, I will hunt you down and use you as a carpet,” Dean was actually kind of scare. Meg had always creeped him out, now he was terrified. He nodded and stood.

“Thanks, also I have no intentions of hurting him, I just want to be his friend,” Dean said. She chuckled to herself.

“Yeah, okay,” and she returned to her original position. Dean drove home thinking about what she said. At least Castiel had Meg so he wasn’t alone.

 Sam was watching television when Dean walked through the door. He stood when Dean came in.

“What’d she say?” He asked quickly. Dean held up his hands to slow his brother down.

“Whoa, calm down; let me sit down with a beer before you ask too many questions. Overexcited a bit?” Dean said throwing his keys onto the table. He wiggled out of his leather jacket and threw it on the back of a chair.

“Castiel might break-up with him. He’s upset so I need to be cautious about what I say Monday,” Dean said.

“Do you like him?” Sam asked quickly.

“Yeah, he seems like a good guy, nice to share a beer with,” Dean answered casually.

“You know what I meant,” Sam crossed his arms.

“Oh, no, not like that, Sammy. Dude, chill about that subject, God what is it with you and Adam all of a sudden?” Dean wondered walking into the kitchen. He grabbed two beers and scoured the cabinets for anything to eat.

“Hey, so I was thinking we order pizza and have a movie marathon like we used to do when we were little,” Sam said from the living room.

“What movies though? I have none,” Dean answered still looking for food.

“Oh, I stole some from Adam’s when I went over today. I got: Avengers, Star Wars DVD set, Breakfast Club, and Drag me to Hell,” Sam listed off the names while walking into the kitchen.

“Wow, great choices, Breakfast Club then Star Wars,” Dean answered, passing the phone to Sam. “Order the pizza and I’ll go pop this in,” Sam obliged and called the pizza place up. It was only down the street and they knew Dean’s number by heart. Dean walked into the living room leaving Sam with the phone in the kitchen. Sam walked in a little later and plopped down on the couch.

“I ordered a pepperoni and a cheese,” Sam said as he put his feet up on the coffee table. Dean sat down next to him, throwing his feet on the coffee table too. “So, what are you doing on Monday exactly?”

“Going to the Roadhouse, having a burger and a beer then probably driving him home and then coming back. Why?” Sam shrugged.

“I don’t know, thought you might want to bring him over, watch a movie or something,” he suggested.

“Maybe, you’ll have to steal better movies though,” Dean said.

“I can accomplish that, would you want me to be gone if you do or not?”

“Not sure, maybe, nothing is going to happen but I don’t want my brother to make a better impression than me,”

“Okay, do you want any specific movies from Adam’s?”

“Does he have any horror movies other than Drag me to Hell?”

“He might, I’ll check tomorrow when I make a stop. I’ll call you and tell you the choices,”

“Good, cause I don’t want to get out of bed tomorrow. I’m exhausted,” The doorbell rang and Sam got up to answer it. He paid even though Dean insisted that he pays. They set the pizza in between them on the coffee table and ate while watching the movies.

It was around one in the morning that Dean woke up. The screen of the television illuminated everything blue. Sam was curled up next to Dean on the couch, asleep. Dean turned off the television, put a blanket around Sam and went to sleep.

Dean woke up early the next morning. Pushing himself out of bed with a groan and walked out to the living room, ignoring his idea of staying in bed. Sam was still curled up on the couch fast asleep. Dean was tired yet he didn’t want to sleep, so he made some coffee to help. He started to make breakfast after a while.

He had just put an egg in a pan when Sam came in. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his hair was a mess.

“Morning,” Sam mumbled. Dean smiled at him and he got a rude loo from Sam.

“Made breakfast and you look lovely in the morning,” Dean mocked. Sam sat down at the table, pulling the blanket closer around him. Dean set a cup of hot coffee in front of him, which Sam took happily.

“I don’t even remember going to sleep last night. And your apartment is cold as hell at night, turn up the heater,” Sam complained.

“It dies around twelve at night so I’ve stopped worrying about it. You’ll need a lot of blankets,”

“Awesome, so are you coming with me to Adam’s or no?”

“I’ll come; he won’t be home though,”

“Yeah, I know, he gave me the key,”

“What are you doing after?”

“Nothing, we could walk around campus, go eat or watch another movie,”

“Let’s go to the Roadhouse, Ellen wants to see you,” Sam nodded and drank a bit.

“By the way, what happened to you wanting to stay in bed all day?” Sam asked.

“I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep,” Dean served breakfast and then Sam went to take a shower. He came out in a plaid button down and jeans. Dean had changed into a black shirt, jeans and his leather jacket. They drove over to Adam’s and grabbed five movies, two beers, a box of cereal and a CD. They stopped at their apartment for a bit because the Roadhouse wasn’t even open yet. Dean cleaned the rest of the apartment while Sam cleaned just his room. Around one in the afternoon they started for the Roadhouse. Like any other day, it was busy, not packed just enough to keep Jo busy. When Sam and Dean walked in Ellen yelled. They quickly made their way to the bar as she did.

“My boys! How are you Sammy? Haven’t seen you in ages!” Ellen smiled hugging Sam tightly. Sam was smiling uncontrollably. He was finally home.

“Hey, Ellen, I’m great. Glad to see you and to be out of that house,” He said pulling away. They sat at the bar so they could talk with Ellen.

“How is your dad? Still a drunk asshole?” she asked, he laughed and nodded.

“Oh, yeah, he always will be. Hasn’t gone a day without drinking since mom died,”

“Okay, boys, what’ll it be?” she asked pulling out her little pad of paper.

“I’ll have the usual and a milkshake,” Dean ordered smiling. Ellen gave him a questioning glance.

“No alcohol?” She asked skeptically.

“Ellen, it’s one in the afternoon,”

“Okay, no judging here. Sam?” Ellen asked turning to the big guy.

“Same,” Sam said with a sweet smile only he could pull off. Ellen nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.

“Does Bobby work today?” Sam questioned looking at Dean.

“At the garage, he works here on Mondays and Wednesdays. Why?” Dean asked turning towards Sam in the seat, with a curious expression.

“Just wondering, I miss the old man,” Dean laughed a bit.

“He misses you too, we’ll go after this. He can’t be to terribly busy,”

“Oh, he’s not, in his office eating like always,” Ellen said reappearing in front of them. “Just called him; didn’t seem too eager to get off the phone. Now, excuse me again boys, have to help these two,” She grabbed the pad of paper and walked over to a booth. Jo came with their food after a bit. Dean wasn’t paying attention as Sam turned and hit him in the side with his elbow.

“Dean, look who it is!” Sam said excitedly. Dean looked where Sam was motioning to with his head. Castiel was sitting with Meg looking at a menu. Ellen was standing at the front of the table talking with Meg. They were laughing and Ellen hit Castiel on the shoulder, causing Castiel and Meg to laugh harder. He put the menu down and looked at Ellen, who was writing the order down.

Dean had forgotten that they were coming, Meg had mentioned that yesterday. Not that he was trying to avoid Castiel; he just didn’t want to creep the guy out before Monday. He wanted to go talk to him suddenly but he knew Meg wouldn’t be happy. Yet he still wanted to talk to him and about nothing in particular honestly. There was a magnetic thing about Castiel that pulled Dean to him, like destiny almost.

“Dean?” Sam said looking at him expectantly. Dean had been thinking too hard that he didn’t hear Sam at all.

“Uh, yeah, what?” Dean stuttered looking back at Sam.

“So you going to go talk to him or just stare at him like a teenage girl?” Sam raised his eyebrows. Dean rolled his eyes and turned back to the bar and continued eating. Sam laughed and hit Dean on the back. They made small talk and ate. Every once and a while Dean would glance over at Castiel, once he caught Castiel looking at him. His blue eyes full of laughter and they lingered then looked away.

 Ellen was correct about Bobby not being busy; when they walked in he was at his desk reading. He glanced up when they walked in.

“Hey, Sam, how ya doing?” Bobby asked putting the book down. Sam smiled and sat in the chair in front of the desk, Dean leaned against the wall.

“I’m great, glad to be home,” Sam said happily. Bobby smiled and leaned forward.

“Good, Dean let you move in or did he need all that room to himself?” Bobby joked.

“He actually let me move in, got my own room and everything,” Sam was playing along. Dean rolled his eyes but he was laughing.

“So anyway, Sam, what are your plans?” Bobby asked.

“I’ll live with Dean, get a job, and start school in the fall. Then hopefully I will be able to move out and have my own apartment,” Sam seemed hopeful about living a great life. He always had big ambitions; he made up for the ones Dean lacked. Dean had always wanted Sam to go far. Nice job, great house, beautiful house, and a few good children. After all, Sam did deserve it.

“Sounds like you’ve thought about this for a while,” Bobby commented.

“Ever since I was a kid,” Sam admitted. Bobby nodded knowing that when Sam was a kid he always talked about going to college, maybe going into law.

John never listened, either he was too drunk to pay attention or he’d ignore Sammy. Sammy would then come tell Dean about his future plans and about why he wanted to become a lawyer and Dean loved to listen. And when John did listen to Sam, he’d tell him _“You can dream but honestly, you ain’t going to amount to anything, like your brother. They want kids that are smart; you ain’t one of those kids. Live with it,”_ and Dean would take a crying Sam from the room, telling him in his bedroom that their father was wrong and someday they’d show him. First time this happened Sammy was six. Dean had come back into the room, after walking Sam out, and got into a screaming match with his father, which resulted in Dean getting a bloody nose and a black eye. Dean ended up taking Sam and leaving for the night, they stayed at a friend’s house. Dean never really told anyone what happened in the house because he hated talking about it. Dean got most of the beatings because he didn’t want Sam to get hurt. Sam never knew this, he always thought John hated Dean more or something and even though Sam was young when he figured this, he still would try to make it better and try to “fix” Dean’s bruises.

“Half way there, boy,” Bobby said smiling. Sam nodded and smiled.

“Well, we may have to go. I have to unpack a lot, I keep getting tired half-way through,” Sam said standing up. Bobby stood and gave him a hug, he whispered something in his ear and Sam nodded pulling away.

“Okay, have a good rest of the day, it’s great to see you Sam, been too long,” Bobby said. Sam moved toward the door.

“It has but not anymore,” Sam muttered. Dean followed him to the car. He hadn’t turned it on before Sam started talking.

“I should have left earlier. I shouldn’t have waited till he kicked me out, should’ve left and never looked back. One day, he had been drinking and he flat out told me he hated me. He hated you; he hated having two sons that weren’t good for anything. He wished we were never born and that mom was still alive. Talked about how we killed her and how we were the reason she never was happy. He then kicked me out, said I should join you and that maybe at one point in time we’ll meet back up in Hell. My own father told me he hated me, told me that he’d kill me the next time he sees me. You were always there for me no matter what. Bobby was more of a father than him and I barely saw him. I’ve watched you and dad get into fights since I was five. I would hear yelling, dad would call you a piece of shit and then you’d call him something I couldn’t hear and it would all drown out until I heard a smack or thud. No kid or anyone knew what we went through and why not? Why didn’t you tell anyone, Dean? We could’ve gotten help; we could’ve moved in with Bobby and Ellen and had normal lives. You wouldn’t have scars and markings everywhere reminding you of what he did and don’t tell me you never notice them because I know you have to. There’s a story for every broken bone and every scar on you but you refuse to tell anyone,” Sam looked at Dean, the expression he wore faltered between sadness and anger.

Dean couldn’t answer him; he didn’t want to because the fact the matter was that Dean didn’t want to include anyone in to that hell they lived in. He didn’t want to have to explain to a five year old why they had to leave school, move out of their house and live with their “uncle”. Dean wouldn’t dare put that on Sam’s childhood.

“Because you deserved a child hood,” Dean said quietly.

“It wasn’t even a childhood, it was hell,” Sam’s voice strained on the last word.

“My point remains, I didn’t want to have to explain to you why we had to leave Lawrence,”

“But you’d explain to me why you had bruises or the occasional burn or a black eye?”

“You weren’t supposed to understand; you grew up and figured it out for yourself. What was I to do? I didn’t want you to have to change schools and houses and I didn’t want to include anyone into our lives. I didn’t want to force parenthood onto Ellen and Bobby either, they had enough to deal with, and they had Jo, they couldn’t take on two boys that weren’t even theirs to begin with. I had it handled, until I was kicked out,”

“Which you also forgot to mention, you said you were moving out. Dad kicked you out and told you he hated you and you told me that you were just leaving because you wanted to go to college. No, you had to because where else could you go and you couldn’t tell me a whole lie, could you?”

“You didn’t need to know, it was my problem. I needed an education so I could fix what dad damaged. I didn’t tell you because you would’ve wanted to come and I couldn’t let you,”

“Of course, I would’ve, you’re my brother that was more of a parent than my actual father,”

“But you had to finish high school then you could go to whatever college you wanted to go to,” Dean put the key in the ignition and started her up. Sam slumped against the door; he was quiet for a while. Dean pulled out into the road and drove towards the apartment in silence.

Sam went to unpack and Dean watched television and reheated pizza from the night before. It was around eight when Sam emerged from his bedroom.

“Done, finally, took forever” he said sitting next to Dean putting his feet on the coffee table “What’re we watching?”

“I think Ghost Hunters, maybe Destination Truth,” Dean answered.

“Good shows,”

“Mhmm,” Dean agreed too enveloped into the show to really answer him back. They watched two episodes of that then around 9:30 pm, Dean started to thinking about going to sleep.

“So tomorrow is the day, you excited or nervous?” Sam asked chuckling under his breath.

“Shut up,” Dean answered.

“I’ll be at Adam’s so you can bring him over and have some privacy,” Sam said still laughing. Dean nodded, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to happen. So much could and so much couldn’t. He didn’t dwell on it though, no disappointments.

“What time do you wake up when you have class?” Sam asked.

“Mondays I wake up at ten o’clock, first class is at eleven,” Dean answered.

“So you going from that class to pick up Castiel then to where ever you guys are hanging out,”

“Basically,” Dean said tiredly. He stood to walk to his room, stumbling a bit when he got up. “I’m going to bed. Want me to wake you up in the morning?”

“Yeah, I’ll need to clean if we’re going to have Castiel over,”

“Don’t become a house wife,” Dean said laughing.

“Shut up and go to sleep,” Sam said chuckling under his breath. Dean walked away laughing a bit.

Dean tossed and turned, thinking about tomorrow. He was excited and scared; he liked Castiel and didn’t want to come across as weird or an asshole. Maybe this was a bad idea; he should call Castiel and explain that he can’t go. Oh, wait, Dean never got his number because he was too busy staring at Castiel to ask for it. He was stuck with the plans now, no going back.

“You’re scaring yourself, you’ll be fine, it’ll be fine,” Dean muttered to himself. After a few more minutes of worrying; Dean finally fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean was sweating his ass off. He was running late because he had to stop at his apartment and drop off his books and change out of sweats, he didn’t want to look completely disgusting. Castiel was sitting on a bench in front of one of the class buildings. He was on the phone and looked annoyed. Dean pulled up and waited for him to finish, he’d forgotten he had the window down so he heard everything.

“No, I’m going out with a friend,” Castiel answered an unheard question “Dean Winchester…no…it’s lunch, Balthazar…what does that have to do with this?...you’re joking right...to hell I will…Balthazar, it’s called free will, meaning I do what I want when I want…yes, I do recognize that…no I’m not saying that, I’m trying to-…okay whatever…yeah, no I’m not coming home tonight…you’re being a child…Goodbye,” Castiel said annoyed hanging up. He thrust the phone back into his trench coat pocket and got in the car. Dean drove in silence; he didn’t want to really force Castiel to talk about anything.

“Sorry about that back there, Balthazar can be an ass,” Castiel muttered, he had a hint of anger in his voice.

“Nah, it’s fine, I understand, sorry I was late though,” Dean assured Castiel. There was a long silence that stretched like a void between them.

“Don’t suppose you’d want to talk about it? You don’t have to it’s just that I know you’re upset and maybe I could help,” Dean tried; Castiel just nodded like he understood what he was trying to say and looked at him.

“He’s just a dick suddenly. I’m breaking up with him, and then he’ll go back to England. I just wish he wasn’t so protective right now. Apparently, I didn’t tell him we were hanging out today, so he’s ticked about that,” Castiel talked quickly and kept his eyes out the window. Dean drove around aimlessly because he didn’t feel like stopping and Castiel wasn’t complaining.

“If you need to go home to talk to him about it, it’s okay, I understand,” Dean said trying to help; he really didn’t know what to do. Castiel sighed softly.

“No, its fine, I’ve waited all week to get out of that apartment and hang out with you. I’m not going back home tonight though; I’ll probably go to Meg’s,” Castiel smiled at Dean sweetly. “Now, what are we doing?” he asked excitedly.

“Well, if you’re hungry, we can go to eat then anywhere after that. We can go to the library, I have noticed how much you love to read or my apartment and watch some movies,” Dean answered.

“This wasn’t supposed to be a date, I would’ve dressed better,” Castiel said laughing making Dean’s stomach twirl.

“It’s not, and if it was you look fine,” Dean laughed. “What do you want to do?”

“Let’s go to the Roadhouse, best spot in town,” Castiel answered grinning widely.

“We both ate there yesterday,”

“So? Good food, good people, good place,”

“I’ll tell Ellen you said that,”

“Are you two really close?”

“Yeah, in a way, she’s basically my mother,” Dean had turned down the street towards the Roadhouse. It looked empty except the occasional customer. They walked into the warmth of the restaurant, feeling better. They sat in a booth next to the window across from each other. Ellen came to take orders after a while.

“What’ll it be boys?” She asked sweetly.

“The usual and Benny’s choice tonight,” Dean answered smiling.

“It’s been Benny’s choice for the last month,” Ellen pointed out smiling.

“Well, he picks the best, not my fault,” Dean sat back looking smugly at Ellen laughing.

“Fine, what about you, Castiel?” Ellen asked switching her attention to Castiel.

“Cheeseburger with fries and a Coke, please,” Castiel ordered making Ellen laugh. She pointed at Castiel and looked squarely at Dean.

“I like him, he says please and is polite unlike his accompaniment,” She stated walking away. She handed the order to Benny through the window leading to the kitchen, he caught Dean’s eye and winked playfully before starting on their order.

“What does ‘Benny’s choice’ mean?” Castiel asked confused.

“Means he gets to pick what I’ll be drinking for the night,” Dean answered.

“Ah okay, makes sense,” Castiel muttered. He looked down then back at Dean like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to word it or if he even wanted to. “Can I ask, what actually happened to your mother? Your real one?”

Dean tensed; he didn’t like to talk about it. No one knew except him and Sam, not even Adam knew, he just knew she was dead and just that she died when Dean was younger and Sam was still a baby. Honestly, Dean wanted to tell Castiel to mind his own business and not worry about what happened to his mother but he didn’t, he felt like the guy might as well know since he kindly asked.

Castiel on the other hand noticed how tense Dean became a quickly tried to help.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, I understand, it’s seriously okay,” He added quickly.

“Its fine,” Dean assured him, “She died in a house fire when I was little. Her and my dad had just put me and Sammy to sleep when an electrical socket caught fire. My dad got Sammy out and went back in for my mom but she was gone, he was too late,” Dean explained quietly. He looked at Castiel who was sadly staring back at him.

“I’m sorry, that sucks,” Castiel consoled. Dean waved it off, not wanting to listen to more people say about how much it sucks that a boy didn’t grow up with his mother around. He would’ve taken dead father if he really had the choice.

“How about your parents?” Dean asked changing the subject. Castiel shrugged a bit.

“They’re alive, one is an obsessive douchebag and the other is pure Christian and hates me. Not just because I’m homosexual but also because I exist,” Castiel replied solemnly.

“Why?”

“I was considered a mistake. Shouldn’t have been born, although it’s not like I decided to just live in that shitty family, they both of this fact every time I see them, so I’ve stopped going, I’m the youngest out of seven,”

“That’s a lot, why so many?”

“They wanted an even number of children, they agreed on six. Three girls, three boys, which did not help with my mum forcing religion onto us, she thought it was a sign from God. Anyway, then they found out they were pregnant with a third. Could’ve gotten an abortion but their religion was against it so she had me. She used to tell me I was a sin because I’m the seventh child making our family incomplete, she took this as a sign from God, telling her that is she had another one to even it out, he’d be the Anti-Christ, and she’s a complete idiot sometimes. But apparently, that’s why I’m gay, I’m a bad omen,” Castiel maintained this look of annoyance throughout the whole story. It surprised Dean; he looked so calm about it.

“Shit, that’s terrible. Have you talked then since you came here?”

“No, my brother, Gabriel has tried to get me to come visit but I refuse, I don’t want that anymore,”

“I get that, Sammy just moved in from living with my father, he’s never been that great of a parent himself,” Dean assured him.

Ellen came then with food trays in her hand.

“That’s an understatement,” She muttered, “Benny picked out a good scotch mix, drink lightly, enjoy boys,” she said smiling and walking away.

“Your father, not a nice guy?” Castiel asked, resuming the conversation.

“No, he’s an ass, always has been, always will be. Never did one thing for me or Sam since mom died and never will,” Dean replied bitterly. He hated his father and was happy that he’d never have to see him again.

“Ah, I understand, a bit,”

“So Sam has moved up here and this is where he’ll be till he gets out of college and gets a really good job, the kid is going places,”

“He seems like it, smart and apparently driven to being a doctor; I wish him the best,”

“You’re a psychology major right?”

“Yeah, going to be a psychologist hopefully, I love the brain and working to improve it,”

“Should’ve been a brain surgeon then,” Dean laughed, Castiel gave him a half smile and laughed.

“I can’t do surgery and blood, not my thing really, but I like helping people, sometimes,”

“Sometimes? You have moments when you hate helping people?” Dean asked skeptically.  Castiel smiled and looked at his food shyly.

“Yes, honestly, I do, I hate people sometimes,” He glanced at Dean and smiled.

“I understand that, we all have those days, some more than others. Have you studied for any of the finals lately?” Dean asked actually wanting to know.

“Little bit, not really,” Castiel answered “Although, I barely have anytime anymore,”

“Boyfriend? Sam has been distracting me a lot lately, I hate the kid but he’s very persistent,”

“Yeah, they should hang out, they’re the same. Balthazar just annoys me though; don’t have the heart to tell him to leave though,” Castiel sighed deeply, “Are you ready?”

“Oh, no, never, pretty sure I’m going to fail all of it,” Dean laughed and pushed his plate away. He was pretty good at what he was doing but since he didn’t really have a main major other than mechanics, he really didn’t know how well he would do during finals. Plus he hated studying, never was very good at it. He could sit somewhere for hours and reread everything he learned and would still score below an 80%.

“You’ll do fine, you’re smarter than people give you credit for; at least that’s what I’ve learned,” Castiel stated.

“Why thank you, but why are you not ready, all you do is study. That’s all I’ve seen you do since our first day, how are you seriously not ready?”  
“I told you, I’ve been busy, I have no time to study,”

“Bullshit, you probably study while Balthazar complains,”

“No, because then it’s almost like he quizzes me afterwards to see if I really was paying attention. Plus, not all of it is him, some of it is me lack of ability to go to the library or somewhere quiet,”

“I still find it funny that you aren’t ready, if you fail, I know I won’t pass our one class together. I haven’t studied since Sam moved in because he wants to see everyone and wants to hang out with me and Adam all the time,”

“How is Sam? Haven’t talked to him or seen him lately, like I know he would never talk to me because he doesn’t know me but still I’m curious,”

“He’s good, constantly with Adam unless he’s at home cleaning, eating my food, or bothering me. He’s over there now because he didn’t want to be home alone,”

“Oh, wow, so how long will you have your apartment to yourself?”

“Until twelve, which is why I invited you to watch a movie, he is terrible at watching movies with,”

Oh, I understand, my sister talks the whole time,” Castiel laughed

They’d both finished and had caught the attention of Ellen, who came up and took their plates.

“Get enough, boys?” She inquired.

“Yeah, it was great; whenever you get time we need our check. Have you, by the way, talked to Sam about a job? He needs to get out of my apartment before I gut the kid, he won’t stop cleaning or eating and I’m completely annoyed,” Dean basically pleaded, and he was ready to.

“Bring him by sometime and me and him will talk about it, he doesn’t have anything to do, can you blame him?”

“Yes! I’ve run out of food, that’s why we’re here,” Dean exclaimed motioning to him and Castiel.

“Okay, and you don’t have to pay, it’s on the house, have a nice night, boys,” Ellen said happily walking away.

Dean smiled and stood up, Castiel following suit and walked to the car. It looked like it was about to snow which worried Dean because then it would get freezing and he just hated winter sometimes.

“Horror movies at your apartment still?” Castiel asked when they were in the warmth and safety of the Impala.

“Yeah sure, if you want to,” Dean replied starting the car. Castiel smiled and looked out the window.

“Where did you even get this car?” Castiel asked suddenly, looking at the dash and the back.

“Don’t use that tone and it was my dad’s, took it when I left,” Dean replied, Castiel laughed.

“I didn’t have a tone,” Castiel said laughing and smiling at Dean, who couldn’t help but laugh too.

“You said it weirdly,”

“Did not! I asked it as a regular question and you thought I had a tone. Anyway, it’s your dad’s and you just took it?”

“Yeah but if you ask him he’d say I stole it. He also doesn’t know I have it because the only time he leaves the house is when he goes to get alcohol. All he does is drink, I want to know how he pays for that it,” Dean muttered the last part.

Castiel didn’t want to pry or anything because he already knew the frailty of the subject but he was curious.

“Where does he live?” Castiel asked.

“Lawrence, Kansas, he’s been there since my mom died and doesn’t seem to want to leave, even though he’s the town drunk basically,” Dean said simply, he didn’t tend to go into any actual details.

“Do you talk to him ever?”

“Not since I moved out, he never calls and if he does I leave it to the voicemail, it’s normally a drunken phone call about how much I ruined his life,”

“What about Sam? Like I know that he just moved out of there but has your dad tried to contact him?”

“No, I don’t think so, he just kicked him out and that’s that,” Dean wasn’t annoyed, he didn’t want to seem like he was, he knew that Castiel was just curious.

“Ah, I’m sorry for both of you. Having a no good father is terrible. No wonder Bobby is like your father, he’s a great guy,” Castiel stated simply looking out the window.

“Do you have good enough father?” Dean questioned glancing at Castiel.

“He’s okay, like I said he’s an obsessive douchebag,” Castiel answered laughing a bit, Dean chuckled under his breath.

“Well, at least we have something in common, even if it’s not that good,” Dean said smiling.

“One thing at least, this is good,” Castiel laughed. He looked out the window and frowned “I thought you lived a block from the Roadhouse?” He asked suddenly.

“We’re cruising, sorry, I got wrapped up in the conversation and decided to just keep driving,” Dean replied.

“Ah okay, makes sense, wait don’t you need to drive this to school and your work?”

“Yeah but I get gas for cheap because I helped the owner with his car when it broke down and fixed it for free,” Dean turned down the street to his apartment building.

“Ah nice, helpful too. What movies are we going to watch anyway? Like genres?”

“I don’t know, I had Sam pick some up while he went over today. Adam mostly has horror or action, nothing else,”

“I could do both, do you have any movies of your own?”

“No, I’m poor kind of, I use a lot of Adam’s things, he gave me a key, so I just take what I need,”

“So you steal?”

“I use my resources, actually,” Dean laughed, he parked in front of the building.

Sam had left the apartment dark even though Dean told him to leave one of the lamps on, he could normally see his apartment from the street.

It was getting really dark and cold, damn winter, the days were shorter and everything was freezing.

“You live here? I used to live here, freshman year before I moved in with Balthazar,” Castiel said looking at the façade of the building.

“Really?” Dean asked incredulously. Castiel nodded a bit.

“Yeah, do you know the owner?”

“Yeah, Ash is a really good friend, he used to work at the Roadhouse but bought this and here, running an apartment building,” Dean smiled and walked to the door holding it open for Castiel.

The building wasn’t much but it was livable and suitable for children and the elderly which made up the majority of Dean’s neighbors. Looked like I hadn’t been swept in a thousand years though and the elevator didn’t work so he had to use the stairs but Dean didn’t mind. The mailboxes sat to the left of the doorway and the office/Ash’s apartment was to the right, stairs were straight ahead of the door.

Dean’s apartment wasn’t that bad. It was cleaner than the rest because Sam moved in. The door opened into the living room, kitchen to the left, bedrooms to the right separated by a tiny tiled bathroom. Dean had laid a rug on the hard wood floors for the winter because they were always cold and the heater worked when it wanted to. It was good enough for a temporary living space.

“Sorry about the cold temperature, heater stopped working. Have a seat and I’ll get some blankets,” Dean offered running into his bedroom and grabbing some spare blankets, he had tons.

When he came back out, Castiel sat looking through Adam’s movies.

“Shaun of the Dead, Odd Thomas, Boondock Saints, Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Shining,” Castiel announced while Dean threw him a blanket. “I’m feeling The Shining,”

“Me too, Sammy has okay taste when it comes to movies sometimes, he used to just watch Rom/Coms,” Dean plopped down next to Castiel on the couch after putting in the movie. It was already dark which made the movie better.

Castiel was fun to watch movies with even though he was a bit jumpy at some points.

“This movie has always creeped me out but I love it and it’s the best movie by Stephen King,” Castiel said when it was over. Dean had gotten up to change it to Boondock Saints.

“I beg to differ, Stand by Me and Desperation were great movies,” Dean countered.

“Never seen Desperation and Stand by Me never quite caught my attention,” Castiel got up and stretched a bit, “Do you have anything to drink?”

“Water, milk maybe and Kool-aid, I know I have that,” Dean said walking towards the kitchen, Castiel following behind him.

“Kool-aid, I love that stuff, it’s the best,” Castiel said while Dean passed him a glass of it.

“Sam gets it; he can’t drink anything else except alcohol and soda, hes addicted to it,”

“Good kid, what time is it by the way?” Castiel asked taking a sip of the kool-aid.

Dean looked at the clock on the stove, it was off, and he’d meant to change that a while ago

“Around 5 something, why?” Dean asked curiosity in his voice.

“I need to head to Meg’s soon,” Castiel said idly

“What? No, it’s dark outside and freezing you aren’t going,”

“Seriously? Like are you joking or being serious?”

“No, I’m being serious, you can stay here, you can take the couch,”

“What about Sam?”

“He has his own room, its fine. I’ll get you some blankets and you can take one of my pillows,”

“Okay, then I’ll text Meg that I’m not coming; she’s probably asleep anyway, she has early work tomorrow,” Castiel said pulling out his phone.

“What time is your first class?”

“What time is your first class?”

“One in the afternoon, you?”

“Twelve, I’m up around eleven-thirty though, I won’t wake you up,”

“Nah, I wake up early all the time,” Castiel said quietly walking back to the living room.

“Okay, we’ll watch this last movie then if you want you can go to sleep, let me go grab you a pillow,” Dean said walking to his room, he grabbed the first pillow he could grab.

He sat down next to Castiel and gave him the pillow, and pulled his blanket around him. Castiel nodded and took another sip of his kool-aid.

Halfway through the movie Castiel was asleep. Dean draped his blanket over the one Castiel was using and turned off the tv.

He turned the lamp on next to the door for Sam

He quietly shut his bedroom door in case it slammed and climbed into bed. It was surprisingly warm given the iceberg-like cold in the room. Dean fell asleep quicker than he expected.

 

The pillow smelled like him, like Dean. Like motor oil and grease that made it apparent that he’d used this pillow a lot. It then dawned on Castiel that he now knew what Dean smelled like and he’d only hung out with him once.

Castiel sat up slowly, he only felt refreshed. This couch was surprisingly comfortable even though it looked a thousand years old.

It was only twelve- twenty so Dean was gone, but he heard someone in the kitchen and smelled breakfast. He got up and stretched, he wanted to curl back up and go to sleep but he wouldn’t be able to now.

He looked down and realized that he’d slept in his clothes; he would need a shower and change of clothes before going to class.

He wrapped himself in the blanket and slowly made his way to the kitchen. His groggy mind didn’t have time to comprehend what was happening when a mass of man swiftly walked past him with a pan in his hand.

Sam smiled when he looked over at Castiel and put some bacon on a plate.

“Hey, Dean just left, do you like bacon and eggs? I didn’t want to wake you to ask so I just made breakfast and enough for both of us,” Sam said getting another plate and setting a place for Castiel at the table.

“Yeah, I like bacon and eggs, thanks, Sam,” Castiel thanked him sitting down at the table. “Did Dean say anything before he left?”

“Not much, just that I wasn’t supposed to wake you until twelve-thirty so you could make it to class and to be a nice as possible, apparently I’m rude to people, I don’t know,” Sam said sitting across from Castiel. He started pulling apart the bacon and smiled through the food.

Castiel smiled and ate a little bit. He noticed how bright the apartment got when the sun was out, it was nice.

“What time did you get home last night?” Castiel asked looking across the table.

Sam finished chewing and swallowed before answering

“A little after twelve, I wasn’t expecting to see someone lying on our couch though,” Sam answered laughing. His smile was huge and made him look like a little boy.

“Sorry, Dean made me stay over because it was dark and apparently freezing,” Castiel apologized. Sam waved it off with a flick of his wrist.

“Yeah, he’s kind of demanding, but it’s okay, I understand,” Sam said finishing off his eggs.

Castiel nodded and ate the rest of his eggs and bacon.

“Thank you, again for the breakfast, Sammy,” Castiel said. Sam stood up and took both of their plates.

“No problem; and only Dean calls me Sammy,” he laughed.

“Oh, sorry, by the way, can I take a shower?”

“Yeah sure, leave your clothes in the hallway and I’ll wash them before you go to class,”

“Your brother wasn’t joking; you seriously do love to clean,”

“What? No I’m not the one that likes to clean, that’s Dean. He keeps the apartment in perfect condition and even cleans the Impala on a weekly basis during the summer. Ever since I moved here he’s been picking stuff up right after I put it somewhere. He organized his notes the other day and yelled at me when I knocked them out of a perfect pile,” Sam laughed.

“Oh, he told me that you’ve done nothing but eat and clean since you got here,” Castiel said confused.

“He won’t admit he has OCD, he totally does, everything has to be perfect or he like has a heart-attack,” Sam wash and dried the dishes. “Like that, if he comes home and sees dirty dishes, he’d kill me,”

“Oh wow, he doesn’t seem like the type of guy that wants perfection,”

“I know right, he seems like the guy that is okay with messy things but nope, he’s really particular in every aspect of his life. Even his schedule doesn’t change. Just the slightest difference makes him uncomfortable,”

“Ah, that’s weird, so when you move in did he have like issues with the differences?”

“I don’t know, if he did he didn’t show it. Anyway, are you okay with me washing your clothes? I don’t want you to have to wear those dirty ones to school. That would be gross but the bathroom is down the hall next to Dean’s room. Leave your clothes in the hallway, I’ll clean them downstairs, while you’re waiting for them to finish you can borrow Dean’s sweats and a shirt,” Sam said motioning towards the back hallway.

Castiel thanked him and walked towards the bathroom.

He took a long shower without meaning to but when he got out he found a pile of clothes on the counter next to the sink. He quickly dried off and put them on, they smelled like him which then made Castiel feel a mixer of happiness and awkwardness.

He walked out to two men talking loudly to each other.

“I did everything you’ve told me to do, I wash, dried and put away!” Sam yelled.

“You didn’t do it correctly!” it must have been Dean. He was home early.

They stood in the kitchen with the plate cabinets open, yelling at each other. Dean still had his jacket and bag on which means he must’ve just got home.

Castiel kept quiet as they bickered to each other.

“How am I supposed to put it away?” Sam exclaimed.

“You put the newer cleaned ones on the bottom so you can use the old clean ones and not reuse the same plates otherwise I might as well just have three plates,”

“No one puts their plates like that; everyone puts it away just by putting the new cleaned ones on the old clean ones,”

“Yeah, well, I prefer to have it my own way, if you don’t like it, I don’t care!” Dean yelled turning to see Castiel standing the doorway to the hallway. “Hey, are those my clothes?”

“Yeah, I’m washing his, he just showered though,” Sam answered for Castiel.

Dean shrugged and didn’t say anything else about it.

“Sleep good, I hope?” Dean asked, “Oh, and all classes are cancelled due to weather conditions, I didn’t find that out till I got over to the classroom. When your clothes are clean, if you want, I could drive you home,”

“Yeah, sure that’d be great, thanks,” Castiel said. Dean walked past him to his room; he smiled when he passed him.

Castiel walked to the couch and sat down to watch tv with Sam. He didn’t really know what they were watching but he got into it. Dean came and sat with them after a while and Sam went to go switch Castiel’s clothes to the dryer.

“Will Balthazar be mad if I drop you off?” Dean asked while they watched tv and Sam was gone.

“I don’t really care if he is or not, a friend dropped me off, if he can’t handle that then we shouldn’t be together,” Castiel answered looking over at Dean seriously.

Dean laughed and looked back at the tv smiling. Sam joined them after a while.

“What are we watching?” Sam asked. Dean looked at him a bit annoyed.

“The same thing we were watching when you left,” Dean muttered sarcastically.

“Don’t have to be rude, Mr. Grumpy Gills,” Sam joked and punched Dean’s arm.

Another half hour passed and Castiel’s clothes were finally cleaned. He went into the bathroom to change and was warm once he put it them on.

“Do you want to go now?” Dean asked when he came out. Castiel shrugged.

“If you want to, I don’t care. I have nothing to go home to,” Castiel laughed.

Dean smiled and stood to grab his jacket and keys.

They walked out the building to his car, no matter how old this thing was, it had a beautiful heater.

“This car is amazing, better than any other car from the 90’s,” Castiel complimented.

“I’ve put a lot of work into her. Original engine though, and little Sammy crammed an army man in the ash tray back there. That rattling is Legos in the heating vents, and our initials are carved in that door down there. I’ve kept those things there since ever, even after my dad crashed it the year before I moved out,” Dean told him patting the dash, he looked proud. Almost like a father talking about his daughter or son.

Castiel gave him directions to his house and was angry when they pulled up. He didn’t want to have to deal with what was inside.

“Thank you for letting me spend the night and for letting me have a reason to get out of the house. I had fun; we should do it again sometime,” Castiel said looking over at Dean and smiling.

“Me too, we should, it was great. See you around, Castiel,” Dean said smiling back.

Castiel got out and slowly made his way to the door, dreading to see his boyfriend.


	3. Chapter 3

“Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick!” Balthazar yelled once Castiel walked through the door. Castiel didn’t want to deal with this right now.

He looked out the window to see Dean leave and sighed. Despite his agitation, Balthazar came up and hugged him, and frowned when he pulled away.

“You smell like him, why?” He demanded pulling away from Castiel and holding him arm’s length away.

“I slept over on his couch and while his brother had my clothes washed, I wore some of his, why does this matter?” Castiel asked annoyed.

He hated when Balthazar did this, he could go crazy over nothing. Why did he care? He was leaving for Britain in a week and probably never coming back.

“Why does this matter? Cas, you spent the night with another man,”

“On the couch, in another room,” Castiel muttered pushing past Balthazar.

“How am I to believe you?  You could be hiding a lot, how long has it been happening?” Balthazar asked in an accusatory tone. Castiel turned swiftly on him.

“What?” He fumed, looking Balthazar in the eyes.

“How long have you been doing Dean Winchester?”

“Oh my god, seriously, you think I’ve been sleeping with him? Because I slept at his house once and I happen to smell like him? So, obviously, I’m screwing him!”

They never fought like this, until lately, but Balthazar had become unbearable.

“And I don’t think you can talk, do you not remember Virgil, the buff brown-haired man I caught you in bed with a month ago? Or how about blond-haired blue-eyed Bartholomew, you know, the one I saw you making out with at the party the other night? Let’s talk about all the men you’ve cheated on me with, and about how I’m still here. Why am I still here, Balthazar? I should be gone and not with you anymore because all you’ve done is exactly this! Yell at me but then go out a screw the first thing to make eye contact with you!” Castiel was pissed and he couldn’t stop.

“You love me too much, that’s why and that’s why I haven’t left you for the other guys, I love you too much,” Balthazar concluded. “If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t be here,”

“Really? If you loved me you wouldn’t be moving back to Britain!”

“I have to, there’s nothing here for me anymore, Castiel!” Balthazar was yelling at him now, and Castiel could only yell back.

“I’m here, I’m here, the person who loved you and wanted the best for you but now I want you to leave and I never want to see your face ever again. You’ve pushed me over the fucking edge, Balthazar, can’t you see that? I no longer want anything to do with you!” Castiel screamed in his face.

He couldn’t remember why he’d come into the kitchen so he pushed past Balthazar again going for the stairs but Balthazar caught his arm.

“Castiel, you can’t kick me out, you also can’t blame me for this. This is because of you, I forgive you though, just don’t let it happen again,” He said lowly looking at Castiel even though Cas refused to meet his eyes.

“I can do what I want, don’t expect me to be home until you leave. The only time you’ll see me is when I come to get clothes, please leave the house unlocked when you leave next Friday. Do not call me ever again,” Castiel boldly stated.

He ripped his arm from Balthazar’s hold and walked out of the house, he didn’t bother to take anything with him. He wanted to be out of the house right then.

He thought about where he was going to stay while driving around Sioux Falls. He could go to Meg’s but she may also not want to have Castiel live with her until next Friday. He could stay at Gabriel’s, no he couldn’t. Gabe wouldn’t want to see him.

He wanted to cry, he wanted to stop somewhere and drink until he was numb. He didn’t do any of this, he drove to the last place he expected himself to be.

He didn’t understand why he went here, he had driven for an hour and had ended up here. He didn’t really want to be here but it seemed like the best place to go even if he didn’t know this person very well. It was the first place he knew he would be welcomed.

He knocked softly on the old wooden door. He could hear people talking on the other side, laughing. He picked a bad time to come but he didn’t know what to do.

The door opened to Dean smiling but when he saw Castiel he looked confused.

“Did you forget something?” Dean asked confused, he smiled slightly.

Castiel looked at Dean and all the feelings he’d felt about crying and drinking and hating Balthazar came flooding back. He didn’t even get a word out until he was a pool of tears. He just cried and when he leaned forward about to fall Dean, who looked shocked but oddly caring, caught him before he could fall.

“Hey, are you okay?” Dean asked concerned. Castiel leaned off him and tried to pull himself together. He didn’t know why he was here, or even if he should be here, but he felt like this was the best place to be.

“I’m sorry, really I am, I shouldn’t have come,” Castiel said trying to walk away.

“No, it’s okay, I mean, obviously you’re not okay and you came here for a reason. Plus, it’s not safe for you to be driving when you’re like this. Come inside,” Dean said catching Castiel’s arm.

Castiel stopped, Dean had a point and he didn’t really want to go back out into the cold. He followed Dean into his apartment.

Dean sat him down on the couch and left to go into the kitchen. Castiel didn’t know why he was there, he wanted to leave but couldn’t. He heard Dean in the kitchen humming and moving things around. By the time he had stopped crying and could form actual words, Dean was sitting on the coffee table in front of him with a glass of water.

“Okay, so why are you here? And tell me everything, I won’t say anything until you’re finished,” Dean said looking at Castiel expectantly.

Castiel looked around for Sam to come from a room or something but he never did.

“Is Sam here?” Castiel stuttered.

“No, he left to go to the Roadhouse, it’s fine, go on,” Dean answered and urged him to go on.

Castiel nodded and told Dean everything. Half-way through Castiel almost started crying again, almost. Dean didn’t seem to care though; he listened intently to everything Castiel said. When he was done, Dean sat back and looked at his hands.

“So this is because of me,” Dean said quietly.

“No, it’s because of me, well also because he can’t trust me by myself apparently. But no, none of this is you,” Castiel assured him. Dean quietly nodded.

“Did you actually break up with him or does he think it’s just a break?” Dean asked. “If he thinks it’s a break he’ll try to come back around and talk and you don’t seem like you should even be with the guy. He’s an ass, where did you find him?”

“I don’t know, he was great at first but he slowly got worse and I’ve been too stupid to notice how big of a douche he is,”

“Okay, well, if you’re smart you’ll let him leave for Britain and never think about him again. Where are you staying until next Friday?” Dean asked getting up and walking around.

“I don’t know, maybe Meg’s if she’ll take me. Things have been really crazy with her though since she started her new work. She has the weirdest hours and she just never sees me anymore. Other than her place, I can’t think of anywhere unless I have to live with Gabriel,” Castiel said rubbing his face.

Dean stopped and looked at him, nodding.

“Stay here, you can stay on the couch or if you want you can have my bed. Just stay here and I’ll wake you up for your classes or have Sam do it. If you want, I mean,” Dean said quietly.

“You barely know me, though,” Castiel said, Dean just shrugged.

“So? Look, I’m not letting you just find a random place to stay because your boyfriend is a fucking douche. You’ll stay here until you find a better arrangement or he leaves,” Dean stated and that was that.

He walked into the kitchen, Castiel really wanted to know what the hell he was doing in there but he didn’t want to walk in.

Then Castiel remembered something suddenly.

“If Sam isn’t here, then who were you talking to when I knocked?” Castiel yelled so Dean could hear him.

“Umm… I was on the phone with Bobby, talking about nothing really, so you didn’t interrupt anything if you were wondering,” Dean answered walking back into the living room.

He sat next to Castiel and looked at the tv, which wasn’t even on. Castiel didn’t know what to say, he was confused and tired and angry at the same time and he didn’t know which one to take care of first.

“I’m sorry for coming here on short notice and being an emotional wreck, especially when I don’t know you very well,” Castiel muttered.

“It’s fine, really, I’m glad you just didn’t stay at your house. But you can stay here as long as you want,” Dean said no looking away from the tv. “And about the emotional wreck thing, it’s okay, I mean I understand. Don’t worry about it,”

Castiel was caught off guard; he was sure the last person to be okay with emotional wrecks would in fact be Dean. He came across as a man that hated crying and when other people cried, or got uncomfortable at least. He didn’t look uncomfortable though.

They didn’t bother to turn on the tv or anything, just sat in silence and stared at it.

“Do you want to eat?” Dean asked suddenly, looking over at Cas.

“Sure, all I’ve had was your brother’s breakfast, that was, what, an hour or two ago?” Castiel said standing with Dean.

“I think, I can’t remember, time barely matters to me anymore. I’m making ramen if you want any, if not I have other food in the fridge or pantry that I can make for you,” Dean offered stirring the noodles in a pot on the stove.

“No, ramen is fine actually. I love it. Can I have something to drink though?” Castiel asked.

“Oh yeah, go ahead, if you want anything just take it, no one really cares in the place,” Dean answered draining the water in a sifter. Castiel got milk then sat down at the table. Dean joined him after a while with two bowls of ramen.

“It may not be great but it’s good enough, I suck at cooking anything,” Dean said laughing.

“It’s noodles in a water then you drain and add the flavor, how could that be so hard?”

“I forget about it, I forget that I have food going, don’t judge me,”

“I can’t help but do so, no one just forgets they have food going, especially someone who eats as much as you do,” Castiel laughed, making Dean laugh.

“Shut up,” Dean joked looking at his food, smiling.

Castiel smiled and looked at Dean. The sun made his hair look blonde in the light and Cas could see his freckles clearly. He had faint dimples but you could barely tell they are there. His eyes were a piercing green that made Castiel stop when Dean looked at him, they were beautiful.

“What? Is there something wrong with my face?” Dean asked confused and Castiel noticed that he’d been staring at Dean the whole time. He looked quickly away and tried not to look awkward, making Dean laugh quietly.

“It’s fine, I was just wondering because you were intently staring at me and I was confused,” Dean reassured him.

“I was just thinking about something,” Castiel muttered smiling.

“Do you always stare at people when you think or is it just the attractive people,”

“Shut up, it was nothing and I spaced out and I happen to be looking at you when I did,” Castiel looked up to see Dean looking at him smiling. “What?” Castiel asked smiling.

“Nothing,” He answered smiling, still looking at Castiel.

Castiel smiled and looked down again; he didn’t know what to do so he kept eating. He could hear Dean chuckle; then felt his face redden.

“You have pretty eyes, did you know that?” Dean mumbled quietly but loud enough for Castiel to hear. Castiel’s head snapped up to look at Dean, who was smiling smugly.

“I’ve been told so plenty of times, thank you,” Castiel said calmly but he could feel his face getting hotter making Dean chuckle more.

“Are you done?” Dean asked motioning towards the bowl.

“Uh, yeah sure, thank you,” Castiel stammered. Dean chuckled more and picked up, walking to the sink. All Dean ever did was chuckle, he never actually laughed unless it was something really funny then he did this whole body laugh, that was between cute and weird.

Castiel was about to say something when the door opened, Sam and Adam walked in laughing and talking. They stopped when they got to the kitchen.

“Hey, Castiel, what’s up? I thought you went home,” Sam said hitting Castiel on the back laughing.

“I decided hanging out here would be better than being at my house,” Castiel answered smiling.

Sam looked at Dean and they seemed to share a secret message between each other. Sam sat down in a chair next to Castiel after getting a glass of milk, Adam sat across from Sam.

“So, Castiel, this is Adam, I’m not sure if you’ve actually met but whatever,” Sam introduced them.

“I think the only time I met him he was flat out drunk. Hi, Castiel Novak,” Castiel said smiling. Adam laughed and looked at Dean.

“Yeah, I sort of remember that, you helped Dean out with getting me to his car. You’re a nice kid. You and that one guy still together?” He asked tapping the table.

Castiel bit his lip and looked at the table top.

“Um, it’s difficult,” Castiel muttered. Adam went to say something but was cut off by Dean.

“Okay, so you two can find something to eat, me and Castiel are going to go watch tv, if you want to I mean,” Dean announced. Castiel looked up and nodded, and followed Dean to the living room. When they were hopefully out of ear shot, Dean turned to him.

“Sorry, I didn’t think he’d ask about that,” He apologized.

“It’s fine, he didn’t know, it’s okay. I’m over it,” Castiel assured him. Dean nodded and sat down, Castiel sitting next to him. Dean turned on the tv and flipped through channels for a bit.

“Do you want to finish Boondock Saints or we can just watch tv. You can honestly watch tv whenever you want, no one in the house cares. Basically, this is your new home,” Dean explained smiling.

I’m okay with watching the rest of Boondock Saints, if you want. And thank you,” Castiel smiled making Dean smile wider. He really did have beautiful eyes, deep emerald green that literally glowed in the sinking sunlight.

He was doing it again, staring at Dean but he couldn’t help it, he kept losing his train of thought when he looked at Dean’s eyes. This time Dean didn’t do anything; he just sat there and looked at him back.

“Dean, do you want something to drink?” Sam yelled from the kitchen, breaking the eye contact.

“Uh ummm… Yeah, sure,” Dean stuttered.

“Get me one too, Sam,” Castiel yelled.

“It’s alcohol, you know that right?” Dean questioned looking at him skeptically.

“I know, makes me want it more,” Castiel said sitting back.

“You don’t seem like the type of guy that drinks, like at all,”

“I don’t but I need to now,”

“Okay, whatever you say,”

Sam walked in with two beers and handed them to Castiel and Dean, then walked back to the kitchen.

Castiel almost drank all of it, that feeling to drinking till he was numb was back and he wanted to do it. He didn’t want to think about anything for a little bit and this seemed like the best bet.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dean asked.

“No, but I can sure as hell act like it,” Castiel replied softly.

“Now you sound like a true Winchester,” Dean laughed. “But seriously, I understand I’m the last person you’d talk to about any of this but if you want we can,” he smiled and looked at Castiel.

Castiel didn’t know whether to talk about it and just get it out or keep it to himself. This was a man he’s only talked to like three times and had hung out with him once and somehow Castiel had ended up crying at his doorstep not meaning to, he couldn’t just tell him everything that happened to him and Balthazar throughout the last three years.

“I can’t, I can’t do that, it’s better to just drink until I start to not feel or think or be conscious,” Castiel muttered.

Dean looked at him sadly, Castiel didn’t look over at him though, he honestly didn’t want to. He didn’t want attention for this, he didn’t want everyone to be worried about him, and he didn’t want everyone to ask if he was okay. He wanted to be left alone about it and deal with it his own way.

“That’s not the right way to deal with this and you know it. I understand, I did this when my mother died, when I moved up here, I still do it; it doesn’t help at all. But you can do it, this one night, after this I’m helping you,” Dean said then yelled for Sam to get more.

Castiel almost drank all of it, that feeling to drinking till he was numb was back and he wanted to do it. He didn’t want to think about anything for a little bit and this seemed like the best bet.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dean asked.

“No, but I can sure as hell act like it,” Castiel replied softly.

“Now you sound like a true Winchester,” Dean laughed. “But seriously, I understand I’m the last person you’d talk to about any of this but if you want we can,” he smiled and looked at Castiel.

Castiel didn’t know whether to talk about it and just get it out or keep it to himself. This was a man he’s only talked to like three times and had hung out with him once and somehow Castiel had ended up crying at his doorstep not meaning to, he couldn’t just tell him everything that happened to him and Balthazar throughout the last three years.

“I can’t, I can’t do that, it’s better to just drink until I start to not feel or think or be conscious,” Castiel muttered.

Dean looked at him sadly, Castiel didn’t look over at him though, he honestly didn’t want to. He didn’t want attention for this, he didn’t want everyone to be worried about him, and he didn’t want everyone to ask if he was okay. He wanted to be left alone about it and deal with it his own way.

“That’s not the right way to deal with this and you know it. I understand, I did this when my mother died, when I moved up here, I still do it; it doesn’t help at all. But you can do it, this one night, after this I’m helping you,” Dean said then yelled for Sam to get more.

They drank for a while and watched Boondock Saints. At some point Adam mentioned his leaving and had this weird smile on his face when he saw Dean and Castiel sitting close together on the couch, Castiel couldn’t help but notice. Sam joined them when Adam left after he cleaned up the kitchen to keep Dean from getting angry.

Castiel had curled up and fallen asleep a little bit later but was awake enough to hear Dean and Sam talking. They were whispering in the kitchen but since they both thought Castiel was asleep they didn’t really talk soft enough.

“So, why is he here exactly?” Sam asked.

“Balthazar and him had a small fight because apparently Balthazar thought Castiel was sleeping with me and that’s why he didn’t come home last night,” Dean explained. Castiel heard someone sigh.

“I thought Castiel had told Balthazar he wasn’t going to come home,”

“Balthazar expected him to go to Meg’s but I didn’t want Castiel to walk there and plus, he was already here and might as well stay, so I let him. I didn’t know Balthazar would turn it into a big deal,”

“Where does a guy like Castiel pick up a guy like that? I mean, Castiel is a good guy, he doesn’t bother other people and Balthazar is an ass to him. Does he know this?”

“Apparently not, but Castiel showed up at the doorstep crying and he looked a little pissed. I had to let him in and then he told me everything, he drove around for hours because he was pissed and didn’t know where to go. Balthazar doesn’t leave until next Friday, is it okay if he stays here for a while until he can at least go home and not have to deal with Balthazar?”

“Yeah, that’s awesome; the guy is great, besides it really isn’t up to me. This is your house; invite whoever you want to stay here,”

“Thanks Sam, I’m going to bed. Do you know where we put the blankets he used last night? They guy always seems so cold and that worries me,”

Castiel heard shuffling and a chair being pulled to the table.

“They’re on your bed folded and the pillow he used,” Sam answered. They both walked out of the kitchen and Castiel heard them go to Dean’s room.

A minute later, Castiel felt something soft surround him and a soft pillow being put under his head. He looked up and saw Dean standing over him moving the pillow so his head was well cushioned.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you, but I got you a pillow,” Dean said quickly as if he needed to clarify what he was doing even though Castiel already knew. He seemed worried.

“It’s fine, I understand, thanks,” Castiel said groggily. Dean started to walk away but Castiel grabbed the sleeve of his sweater, “Thank you for letting me stay, I know this could be very inconvenient and if I ever over step my boundaries, tell me,”

Dean nodded and smiled. Castiel let go and smiled, then turned towards the back of the couch and curled under the covers. He listened to Dean’s boot-clad feet walk towards his room.

Castiel was actually happy right now and he didn’t know why but he liked it and wanted to stay this way.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke up with a huge shadow standing over him. He rubbed his eyes to get the grogginess out and jumped when he saw Sam just standing there staring at him.

“What the hell?” Dean murmured angrily.

“I made breakfast and you have work, time to get up,” Sam yelled ripping the covers away from Dean, making everything feel cold. Dean rolled over into a ball and attempted to go back to sleep but was hit in the face by towels and clothing.

“Get up, take a shower, and eat. You have to leave in an hour,” Sam ordered walking away.

“Since when did you become my damn wife?” Dean yelled, a little pissed.

“Just get up,” Sam yelled back from the kitchen.

Dean slowly made his way into an upright position, his head was pounding. The only light in the room was the one from the open window curtains, Dean had changed them to black after he’d woken up every day to the sunlight right in his face. But they were useless when there was a crack, making everything seem really bright and fluorescent.

Dean quietly sighed and made his way for the kitchen slowly.

He got to the door of the bathroom when it opened suddenly, scaring Dean again. Castiel came out with soggy hair and a towel around his hips. He looked startled to see Dean standing there.

“Sorry, I, umm…” Castiel stuttered looking everywhere but Dean.

“Dean, come on, man. You cannot be late today, Bobby said he needs you to be there on time for once, everyone has taken an early holiday and there’s a lot of work to do. Hurry up, or Bobby will kick both our asses,” Sam was getting pissy from the kitchen. Dean couldn’t help but roll his eyes making Castiel laugh.

“I’m coming, calm down for God’s sakes,” Dean yelled annoyed. He smiled at Castiel and walked to the kitchen again.

Sam was walking around the kitchen quickly cleaning and putting things away.

“I knew something was up when you woke me up. Did Bobby say who all wasn’t going to be there?” Dean asked sitting down to the table.

“Garth and Andy I know won’t be there. Their wives want them home early for Christmas,” Sam said.

“Always do, no one else?”

“He didn’t really mention anyone, he just said they were all gone and he needed the extra hands. Said if I wanted I could come help but I’m not very good with cars,”

“Should’ve taken it though, I would’ve helped you,”

“Yeah but I have other things I need to do, besides I was going to go help get some of Castiel’s clothes and vital things that he needs to get through these two weeks. Clothing, his books, shampoo, conditioner, stuff like that,”

“We have most of that stuff, the books and clothes are all he really needs to get,”

“He doesn’t want to use up all of our stuff since he’s only here temporarily. He told me he felt bad for making us let him live here, I told him it was no problem but he said he just didn’t feel right by it. But I’m going with him incase Balthazar is there, moral support really,”

Dean looked down, he understood that Castiel probably wasn’t used to this kind of hospitality since his home life was terrible and everything in between had been one huge roller coaster. Dean just didn’t understand why Castiel felt bad for living here and it wasn’t like Castiel was forcing them to let him live here so that wasn’t really a problem. But if the guy insisted on getting his own things, then that was okay with Dean, whatever made him happier.

Dean jumped when he heard someone sit next to him, his head snapped up and over to see Castiel smiling at him. He had changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. His brown hair was still a little wet but it was all messed up.

“You’re really jumpy today, are you okay?” Castiel asked looking at him weirdly.

“What? Oh yeah I’m fine, just peachy,” Dean stammered looking back at his food.

Sam and Castiel shared a glance but didn’t say anything, just kept eating.

Dean finished quickly and stood up to go to the bathroom when Sam spoke up.

“If you take a shower, you’ll be late,” He stated smiling.

“Fine, I’ll go without the shower but if I get there and he decided he doesn’t need me, I’m going to freak,” Dean said walking straight to his room.

He’d been at the garage for an hour and had probably worked more than he expected he would. It was around three in the afternoon when Bobby came and dragged him out from underneath a car.

“Time for you to go, your brother and that one guy are at the Roadhouse, they said to tell you to meet them there. You’ll be getting your last check before vacation on Friday of next week then you don’t have to come in until January second,” Bobby said then started to walk away.

“Wait, that’s almost two weeks. I thought I was supposed to work till the 22nd?” Dean asked confused.

“Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Make sure you’re at our house on the 24th; bring that Castiel guy with you,”

“He won’t be living with us though, why should I force him to come to something including my family?” Dean never got an answer though; Bobby just laughed and went into his office.

Dean put his things up and washed his arms and hands. He couldn’t stop thinking about how weird it was that Bobby invited Castiel to Christmas dinner even though he’d just met the guy last Friday. Dean didn’t want to fight it though, the guy was great.

Castiel and Sam sat at a booth on the left side of the door. Dean joined them after saying hello to Jo and Ellen. They were in a deep conversation about something Dean didn’t understand. When he came and sat down by Castiel they stopped.

“Finally, Bobby let you out late?” Sam asked raising an eyebrow.

“No, I just waited a bit to leave; he’s letting me out early for Christmas vacation,”

“How early?”

“The 19th, he told me he was going to let me out on the 22nd but he said I get paid Friday of next week then that’s it, don’t come back till the second of January,”

“Weird, oh well, more time to sleep in,”

“By the way, what are you doing the 24th of December?” Dean asked looking at Castiel.

“Nothing, probably lying at home alone watching crappy Christmas movies, why?”

“Bobby wants you at our family Christmas dinner this year,” Castiel actually looked kind of happy about that. He looked down and smiled sweetly, Dean couldn’t help noticing.

“That’d be awesome, thank you,” Castiel said smiling. Dean couldn’t help but smile when looking at him.

“Great, by then, Balthazar will be gone and you could start hanging out with us more. It’ll be great,” Dean said smiling at Castiel.

Ellen came over and took their orders after a while but Dean was busy looking at Castiel to know she was talking to him. The only one to notice was Sam though, who gave him a look from across the booth but said nothing.

They ate and talked about nothing in particular. Dean and Sam told Castiel stories from when they were little, leaving out the bad details.

“This one time Sam and I were standing on this shed in our back yard, our dad had told us not to go up there because it was really crappy and there were nails sticking out of it,” Dean started

“And it looked like it was falling apart and the roof could cave in at any time,” Sam added.

“Yeah, it was bad. Anyway, we were messing around one day and he was dressed as Spiderman and I was Batman. I was about eight; he was no more than five. And I jumped down, stuck the landing and rolled, he wanted to jump but I told him he wouldn’t make it and hurt himself. He jumped instead and broke his ankle,” Dean started laughing with Castiel.

“We didn’t want to get yelled at so he drove me to the hospital on his bike handle bars,” Sam added again and they all started laughing harder.

“Spiderman can’t fly,” Castiel observed laughing.

“He can shoot webs that help him,” Sam countered.

“But he can’t fly like Batman can,” Dean stated smiling.

“Okay, whatever,” Sam laughed.

“By the way, how did getting your clothes go? Was Balthazar home?” Dean asked.

“He surprisingly was; I was sure he’d be at work but apparently he took the day off. He didn’t really do anything though, mumbled under his breath about stupid things. For the most part, he left us alone until we were leaving. Then he tried to say some words but in all honesty I wasn’t listening,” Castiel laughed a little.  
“Good, but you got everything?”

“Yeah, I believe I did,” Castiel smiled looking over at Dean.

Sam was suddenly uncomfortable, not because he was uncomfortable with the fact that his brother looked like he was falling in love with the guy next to him but because he felt like he was intruding on a secret moment between them. Sam was happy; he liked the idea of Dean being happy. If only they would tell each other instead of eye-fucking each other every day they were together.

Ellen had come over to take the plates and give the bill.

“Here you go boys; I have to make you pay sometimes. Bobby already tell you about the vacation, Dean?” She asked looking at him.

“Yeah, it’s great, we’ll be over for dinner on the 24th; same time as always. But we’re bringing a friend this time,” Dean said.

“And Adam, like usual,” Sam chimed in.

“We invited Castiel,” Dean explained.

“You didn’t invite him, we all did. That’s good, Castiel is welcome to all of our family things, if he would like to come,” Ellen smiled at Castiel.

“That sounds great, thank you, ma’am,” Castiel said smiling.

“Call me Ellen, I haven’t been called ma’am since I met Bobby,” Ellen smiled and walked away.

Dean stood and followed Sam outside.

“Hey, I’m going to Adam’s, he wanted to show me something. You guys go ahead to the apartment, I’ll be home around seven,” Sam said walking towards his truck.

“For God’s sakes, just move in with him. You spend more time with him than you do at our apartment,” Dean yelled back.

“You’re just jealous,” Sam laughed.

“You want to go back to the apartment and watch shit tv?” Dean asked looking at Castiel.

“That sounds like the highlight of my day,” Castiel joked getting into the Impala.

They went home and watched random tv shows, occasionally changing the channel to a different show or just flipping through.

Sam didn’t get home until way after nine but came home to Dean and Castiel laying on the couch together, not like a normal couple would but Castiel had his head on Dean’s shoulder. Sam smiled and walked quietly to his bedroom, trying not to wake them up.

He was happier when he woke up the next day with them still lying like that. He didn’t even need to do his job, they did it for him.


	5. Chapter 5

It was the 12th, finally. Dean and Castiel had had school Thursday and that Friday, finals mostly. Dean had woken up at his usual time and got ready; he woke up Castiel just in case. Castiel looked like he was ready to kill someone but then noticed that it was just Dean and his expression softened.

“Hey, what time are your first classes? Today we have just finals, like yesterday,” Dean said sitting down on the coffee table.

“What time is it now?” Castiel asked groggily.

“Nine o’clock,”

“I have about a half hour, nine thirty,”

“Okay, do you want me to make breakfast or not?”

“That’d be great actually, might help me wake up,” Castiel sat up and smiled.

“Okay, are eggs okay? Sam’s the one that can cook; all I can make is a good burger,”

“Mix the two, then you get an egg burger. It’s actually really good, Balthazar used to make them. They’re great on the road.”

“Do you know how to make them?”

“Oh yes, I’ve had to make them a lot lately, they’re fun to make though,” Castiel said standing and stretching.

They walked into the kitchen and Dean got everything out that Castiel said they’d need. Castiel would tell Dean what he’d need at the moment and Dean would bring it to him. They worked well as a team and occasionally Castiel would mess up and Dean would have to clean up. Dean flipped the “egg burger” while Castiel made the sandwiches they were going on.

“Do you have any bacon?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah check the bottom drawer of the fridge,” Dean replied pointing with his head. Castiel rummaged through until he found a half thing of bacon at the bottom.

“Frying pans?” Castiel still didn’t know their kitchen organization.

“Cupboard on the left of the two handled cupboard,” Dean answered laughing.

“I’ll get it at some point, I promise,” Castiel laughed

He got out the frying pan and placed in on the burner next to Dean’s egg pan.

“I’ll watch everything on the stove, you work on everything else,” Dean said

“Why do you get to have all of the fun?”

“Because I have a fear of you burning things, you have a bad time concentrating,”

“Oh really? What do you know?”

Dean looked at him offended, Castiel just turned around laughing.

“That hurts, man, if you really want to help you could clean but you don’t know my system. This one’s done,” Dean said pulling out one of the round eggs and giving it to Castiel.

“If only you weren’t so picky on where everything goes. I don’t know how Sam does it,” Castiel laughed flipping the bacon over.

“My mom showed me how to organize everything, I used to hang out with her at home and watch her as she cleaned and organized everything. Sometimes she’d let me do it, said I was the only person to ever understand her system,” Dean explained quietly, his eyes looked distant.

Castiel suddenly felt bad for talking about it, he knew Dean for a week and already he knew enough about the guy’s life to say he knew him for years. He knew Dean hated bringing up his mother because he missed her more than anything.

“She taught you well then, almost done with that one?” Castiel asked pointing to the egg. The bacon was already done and he was adding little pieces to the sandwiches. And finally they were done.

“They look perfect, Castiel, you did good,” Dean said standing back and looking at their creation.

“What time is it?” Castiel asked suddenly, Dean looked over at the clock on the stove.

“Nine-twenty, we both have a little bit,” he answered “You ready to eat or do you have to take a picture,” Dean said laughing.

“Shut up and eat the damn sandwich,” Castiel ordered.

They both sat down across from each other and ate.

“This is amazing, Castiel, nice job,” Dean praised.

“I know right, we did good,” Castiel smiled “By the way, you can call me Cas; you don’t have to say my full first name,”

Dean laughed but looked happy with this. They sat and ate quietly, occasionally catching each other’s gaze. It was about nine-twenty-five when Sam came out of his room. His long hair was all mussed up and going everywhere.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked groggily.

“Eating an egg sandwich, we have to leave in a little bit though,” Dean answered.

“Last day of classes right?”

“Yeah, for a while,” Castiel answered. Dean stood up and put his plate in the sink of water.

“I’m going to go get my stuff, you riding with me or driving on your own?” Dean asked Castiel

“I’ll ride with you, do you work after class?”

“Only at the Roadhouse, I can drop you off at home before I go, though,”

“No, I can go with you and hang out; if I decide to go home I can walk here,” Castiel said standing up, mimicking what Dean did with his dish. He walked into the living room and grabbed his bag with his books.

Dean was waiting by the door for him. To be honest, Castiel would rather stay home and watch shit tv with Dean than do anything else.

 

Dean was having a hard time concentrating on the exam. He kept thinking back to this morning, he liked having Cas in the apartment. He seemed to brighten it, Dean was starting to dread the day when Balthazar would leave and Castiel thought he would have to leave. They could still hang out, Dean guessed but it wouldn’t be the same.

Dean snapped out of it when Adam elbowed him in the ribs to get him to work. Dean gave him a sideways glance but Adam just laughed and resumed to his exam. Dean finally was able to concentrate and finished the exam quickly, he knew he did well, he just needed to pass.

Dean waited outside the classroom quietly. He knew Cas would finish quickly and he did. Dean was only waiting for a few minutes when Castiel came out and looked over at him surprised.

“I didn’t expect you to wait here, I thought you’d wait in the Impala,” Castiel said laughing.

“Do you want me to do that from now on?” Dean asked looking skeptical

“I don’t care, do what you want,” Cas said smiling at him.

“I’m going to anyway,” Dean said following Castiel down the steps.

“Of course you are,” Castiel looked up at Dean and laughed. “To the Roadhouse?”

“Yeah, Ellen said I didn’t have to work very long, they’re closing today early, last day it’ll be open until the second of January,” Dean answered opening the door for Castiel, who looked at Dean questioningly but said nothing.

“It’s a little early to be closing for the holiday, isn’t it?” Castiel asked looking at the sky, it was already starting to snow.

“I don’t know, probably but do you want to be the one to bring that up with Ellen?” Dean laughed unlocking the Impala. Castiel chuckled a bit and got in. The old car got warm really quickly, which honestly surprised Cas.

Ellen seemed happy to have Castiel there; he could help out since he had nothing else better to do even if he went back to the apartment. Ellen, Jo and Benny seemed to like Castiel and treated him just like they treated Dean and Sam. Castiel felt like he finally had a family.

“You ready? Apparently, not only is Ellen closing early for the holiday but she’s also closing early for the night, so we can go now, if you want,” Dean asked Castiel who was standing at the cash register counting money with Jo.

“Yeah, we can go, your brother home or with Adam again?” Castiel asked looking over.

“He told me he was hanging out with Adam, haven’t seen each other since Wednesday night, whatever shall they do without each other. So we can go home, watch shit tv, and eat until we can barely walk,” Dean joked getting up and sitting on the counter. Jo looked over at them and smiled.

“That sounds like our night every night; I might just move in and make the living room my room, that’s all I’d do at home anyway. At least this was I have a friend,” Castiel laughed and set down his handful of money that he was counting. “There’s forty dollars there, Jo, add that to the rest,”

“You count quickly, college kid, I like having you around,” Jo commented smiling at him.

“Alright, enough with the praising, he doesn’t need a bigger head. Let’s go, Cas, we got a lot to do,” Dean said gently pulling Castiel away. Dean caught Jo eyes and she winked, he ignored it, he already knowing what she was getting at.

They did what they normally did but this time it was different. They sat a little closer and looked at each other more than the tv even though they didn’t mean to. It wasn’t until Sam came home that Dean noticed how close they were.

Sam came in and was laughing with Adam; Dean suddenly became self-aware of how close he was to Castiel. He moved over a bit which must’ve caught Cas’s eye because he looked over at him confusedly but didn’t say anything.

“Hey, is it okay for Adam to stay over, he gave me a ride and he doesn’t want to go home,” Sam asked wheezing.

“Where is he gonna sleep?” Dean asked looking confused.

“On the couch, of course,”

“Cas sleeps there, remember? How much did you have to drink?” Dean scowled looking at Sam.

“Oh yeah, shit, I forgot. Sorry, Castiel,” Sam erupted into a fit of laughter and Adam chimed it.

“Why can’t Castiel sleep with you, Dean?” Adam asked still laughing.

“What?” Dean and Castiel yelled at the same time.

“Oh, shit they don’t know, do they” Adam asked Sam, who was quickly shaking his head and laughing, “Crap, I’m sorry, I sleep in Sam’s room, we’ll put a pillow between us,”

Dean rolled his eyes and stood up. He hated drunk Adam and Sam, especially together, they either came up with stupid ideas or did the already planned stupid idea from the last time they were drunk.

“You can take the couch, Adam, I don’t care,” Castiel said

Dean looked over at Cas and caught his eye.

“I’ll sleep on the floor or something,” Castiel shrugged.

Dean shook his head and pushed his hands through his hair.

“No, you’ll sleep in my room, I’ll find space,” Dean gave Sam an angry look and walked towards his room, Cas following close behind.

They could still hear Sam and Adam in the living room laughing for some unknown reason.

“Sorry, they’re really annoying when they’re drunk. Adam probably isn’t even that drunk, it’s just Sam. They would’ve found something wrong with them sleeping in Sam’s room and insist you come sleep in here,” Dean explained pulling some blankets out of his closet.

“It’s okay, I understand fully, sadly,” Castiel said grabbing a pillow and throwing it on the flood along with a blanket.

“What’re you doing?” Dean asked looking at the pillow and blanket. Castiel looked up at him surprised a bit

“Sleeping on the floor, you have the bed and I’ll take the floor,”

“No, you’ll sleep on the bed and I’ll sleep on the bed but a little to the side,”

Castiel raised his eyebrows and chuckled.

“Who knew Dean Winchester was okay with sleeping with an actual gay person,”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“Nothing, you just surprise me even more every day,”

“I don’t have an issue with anyone unless you’re a dick, you know that right? I’m not my dad,” Dean said as he threw his pillow off to the side of the bed.

“Your dad had an issue with homosexuals?” Castiel asked quietly.

“Yeah, and bisexuals,” Dean answered looking down. Castiel watched Dean as he sat down on the bed. “That’s why he kicked me out. Well, that was one reason, there were a lot,”

“So it’s true,” Castiel said nodding slightly. Dean turned around and scowled.

“What?”

“Meg told me when you first got here for school that you came out as bi to your dad and he didn’t like that. Rumor was that you were beat half to death then kicked out and Bobby had to come get you otherwise you would’ve killed your dad,” Castiel explained.

“Half of that is true but I didn’t necessarily come out, he caught me. Up until that day I had been super careful not to get caught because I didn’t know what my dad would do. My ‘boyfriend’ at the time was already out and wanted me to so we could be a real couple and not worry about being seen or getting hurt. My dad was supposed to be at work, Harry came over and we were just watching movies at first. I liked Harry, he was actually really cute but I don’t even know where it went wrong. We were lying on the couch together holding hands and my dad walked in. He’d been drinking and when he saw us, he flipped shit. He was angry, pulled me right out from under Harry, started screaming. Sam was about sixteen at the time, he came running out of his room, telling my dad to stop. He didn’t, kept telling me I was a disgrace; my mother would’ve hated me had she known what I was. He treated it like I was part animal and wasn’t fit to live anymore. Harry had gotten out, luckily, because while my dad was busy screaming at me, he didn’t notice Sam help Harry out,”

Dean had started shaking, he hated remembering this. Thinking about how much he must’ve hurt Harry the next day when he didn’t talk to him. Dean had vanished two days after, when school ended. Harry never saw him after that and never got the chance to talk to him.

Castiel was quiet for a minute then came over and sat next to Dean. Dean’s eyes were red-rimmed like he was about to cry but couldn’t get there. Castiel felt bad for him, no wonder the kid didn’t get involved with other people.

“I’m sorry, I know it doesn’t help but I really am,” Castiel muttered.

“It’s behind me, I don’t care anymore. It’s just better to forget about it,” Dean said standing up. “Do you mind if I change in here or would it be better for me to change in the bathroom?”

“Your room, do what you want,” Castiel said smiling and walking back onto his side of the bed.

He turned around to look at something when Dean caught his eye. Three white scars ran down his chest. One was smaller than the rest but looked wider. He was more muscular than Castiel had thought though.

Cas could guess where he got those and he’d probably be right but he didn’t want to annoy Dean any more than he probably already did.

They got into bed on opposite sides, Dean slept far enough away from Castiel so he didn’t make him uncomfortable. Castiel slept facing Dean’s back, the more he spent time with Dean the more he was surprised by him. And the more he liked him.

.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean had worked all weekend, once Monday came around Bobby had told him he could work for one hour and that’s it. Didn’t surprise Dean that much, just as long as he got enough money for next year for Sam’s tuition. When Dean got home Sam was gone and Castiel was still asleep. Dean had noticed how, after Dean told Castiel what happened to him when he was younger, Castiel had become almost like a part of the family. Dean liked it and was happy for him.

But Dean also felt bad, they hadn’t actually talked since Friday, maybe because Dean was always working and Castiel was always asleep when Dean came home or gone with Sam and Adam. Maybe it was too early for him to basically come out to his new friend; maybe it caught him off guard or surprised him.

When Dean came in, Castiel was curled up on the couch asleep, just like how Dean had left him when he went to work in that morning. Dean tried to be as quiet as he could, slowly making his way to the bathroom and turning on the shower. He was stripping down when there was a small knock on the door. He cracked the door a bit to see Cas standing in front of the door.

“Oh hey, sorry, I didn’t know who it was so I wanted to check,” Castiel said quietly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you if I did,” Dean apologized smiling.

“By the way, Sam said he wasn’t going to home tonight, he’s staying at Adam’s,”

“Okay, do you want to have a movie night tonight?”

“Yeah, that sounds great actually, I’ll go pick one out,” Castiel smiled and walked back into the living room.

Dean continued with his shower, then got dressed and walked to the living room. Castiel wasn’t anywhere, which kind of confused Dean until he heard music in the kitchen.

Castiel was cooking something and listening to what Dean knew was OneRepublic, Cas’s favorite band. Castiel would sometimes sing along but mostly he was concentrated on what he was doing. Dean didn’t disturb him; instead he stood in the doorway and watched him.

This was one of the first times that Dean noticed how graceful Castiel was. He moved so smoothly, even in places he wasn’t used to, it was as if he glided his way around. The very slight movement of his hips, the way his arms swung loosely when he walked. The tilt of his head when he was looking at something, the way he moved was hypnotizing.

“Hey, I’m making supper, don’t know what yet but I’ll figure it out,” Castiel said snapping Dean out of his trance.

“Um…we have macaroni in the pantry, we could just make that,” Dean said smiling.

“Okay, actually macaroni sounds better than anything else you have,”

“Thanks, what movie did you pick out by the way?”

“I thought about having a scary movie one tonight and then afterwards, if we’re still awake, we can watch a Christmas one to balance it out,” Castiel smiled over his shoulder.

“That actually sounds great, what movie?”

“Halloween, it’s one of my favorite movies. I’ve seen it probably a thousand times,” Castiel said laughing.

Dean smiled and walked into the living room to put the movie in. Castiel came in a little bit later and sat next to Dean on the couch.

“It’ll be done in a few minutes,” Cas announced. Dean shifted a little, he couldn’t tell if he was uncomfortable or just imagining Castiel being uncomfortable.

“Hey, I was thinking the other day about what you told me Friday night, and I was wondering, does Sam know?” Castiel asked suddenly.

“Yeah, he found out one night when I had to explain to him why Harry likes to spend the night in my room,” Dean answered taking a drink of his beer

“Oh okay, then again on Friday when Adam and Sam said that we don’t know yet, what do you think they meant?” Castiel looked down.

“I’m not sure, knowing Sam it’s probably something about us liking each other,” Dean said smiling. Castiel nodded and looked up.

“Okay, I was just wondering,” Castiel got up and walked into the kitchen. Dean got up and followed.

“Why?” he asked leaning on the doorway.

“I don’t know, they just seemed to be in on something and I wanted to be sure those were your thoughts too,”

“Okay, makes sense,”

“You don’t like me like that do you?” Castiel asked turning around to look at Dean.

“Umm…-” Dean started when the phone rang. He moved around Castiel to get to the phone on the far side of the room.

“Hello?...Yes, this is him…What? Where is he?...Yes, I’ll be down as soon as I can,” Dean said quickly hanging up the phone.

He ran into his room grabbing his jacket and keys.

“What happened?” Castiel asked hurriedly.

“Sam’s been in an accident, he’s had a concussion. I’ll be home in a few hours,” Dean said rushing for the door.

“Bullshit, I’m coming with,” Castiel said grabbing his trench coat from the back of the couch.

“No, stay here, eat and watch the movie, I can handle this,”

“No, I’m going, Dean. He’s my brother too,” Castiel said glaring at Dean and walking past him, then he stopped. “Keys, now”

“No, why?” Dean asked defensively.

“So you can make the calls and reassure people and not kill us in the process. I want to get to the hospital this way and not the way your brother went in. Give them now, Dean,” Castiel scared Dean when he looked this forceful.

Dean reluctantly handed over the keys and walked down behind Castiel. He called Bobby and Ellen to see if they heard the news, they had. Ellen was frantic, said she wanted to meet them at the hospital.

“Ellen, don’t, stay home with Jo and Bobby. Me and Castiel are going to the hospital now, we’ll call you when we get some information,” Dean said calmly.

They got to the hospital and ran inside. A nurse sat at the reception and stood when she saw them come in hurriedly.

“Hello, are you Sam Winchester’s family?” She asked with a small voice.

“Yes, where is he? Is he okay?” Dean asked quickly.

“Follow me and explain his injuries,” She answered walking down a long hallway. “Are you family?”

“I am, he’s a family friend,” Dean said walking quickly next to her.

“I’m sorry but only family is allowed past this point for now,” she said opening the double doors for Dean.

“But-” Dean started.

“It’s okay, I’ll wait out here,” Castiel assured him pushing Dean along.

Dean walked through as the nurse explained his injuries but he barely listened. He was too caught up thinking about how he may lose one of the few things in his life he actually cared about. Dean knew the doctor will tell him all this later.

The nurse stopped in front of a door and said something that Dean didn’t hear. He was too busy dreading what he'll see behind that door.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam had been driving back to Lawrence and was half way out of town when a car had come speeding towards him. It was a car that was trying to pass and hadn’t seen Sam’s car come over the hill. Sam swerved to the right to evade the oncoming car. He came to a stop when he hit a tree.

His head had hit the steering wheel, knocking him out and giving him a concussion. The force of the hit broke the windshield, shattering glass everywhere. Some of it lodged into his arms and his leg broke from going up and hitting underneath the steering wheel.

Anyone in the other car hadn’t been hurt and they stopped after they saw the damage. The truck the other car had passed stopped and the driver got out to check on Sam. He they then called for an ambulance.

For now, Sam was in a coma, the doctor was hoping there was not a lot of blood in the brain cavity. Other than this immediate information, there is nothing else.

Dean sat in the waiting room with Castiel. They had called Ellen and told her what they knew for now. Adam was on his way to see them but they currently still weren’t letting anyone but family into the hospital room.

Castiel tried to get Dean to go in multiple times, saying that Dean should be with Sam. Dean didn’t want to leave Cas alone.

“It’s just going to feel worse until you go and see him?” Castiel soothed looking at Dean.

“I can’t, I’ll just wait till Adam gets here. I don’t want to leave you out here alone,” Dean said, head in his hands.

“I’m fine, seriously, just go if you want,”

“I don’t, I’m good out here, with you,” Castiel nodded and moved closer to Dean.

“When is Adam going to be here?” Castiel asked suddenly

“He gets off work at three but he’s getting off early, he’ll be here in a few minutes,” Dean answered. He leaned back rubbing his face.

Dean stood up when Adam walked into the waiting room. Adam walked over calmly and hugged Dean.

“Hey, what’s up?” Adam asked then looked over Dean’s shoulder at Castiel.

“He’s in a coma now, the doctor said he’s doing fine though,” Dean said.

“Have you two been here since they called you?”

“Yeah, we’ve been waiting out here. Cas can’t go into the room because he isn’t family and I don’t want to leave him out here alone,”

“I think he would understand though, I would hope he would,”

“I do, Dean just refuses to leave, you try to talk him into it,” Castiel spoke up.

Adam laughed and looked over at Castiel.

“He’s really stubborn, you learn to live with it,” Adam said smiling.

Castiel laughed and nodded, Adam came and sat down next to Castiel.

“Have you two eaten yet?” Adam asked looking between Dean and Cas.

“No, we’ve been here, he doesn’t seem like he wants to leave and I don’t want to leave him here just in case the doctors come up with more information,” Castiel stated looking up at Dean.

“How about you two go out to eat and I’ll stay here and if they find anything out or something happens I’ll call you,” Adam offered.

Dean looked at Adam a little hesitantly. He didn’t want to leave just in case they needed him for something like information. But he knew he needed to eat and maybe if he got out of here his mind would clear up a bit.

“Dean, does that sound good?” Castiel’s voice broke his thoughts.

“Uh, yeah, that sounds good,” Dean said quickly. Castiel nodded and grabbed Dean’s and his coats. They trailed out of the hospital quietly, finding Dean’s impala which was parked close to the entrance door. Castiel drove again because Dean didn’t look like he was up for driving, not to mention that he looked like he was really out of it.

They went to a small restaurant that wasn’t too far from the hospital in case anything went wrong but it had good food. Dean was quiet while they ate, barely looked up at Castiel the whole time.

“Dean, are you okay?” Castiel asked crossing his arms over the table and tilting his head a bit.

“Aside from the fact that my brother is currently in a comatose state and the doctors refuse to tell me shit and my brother also lied to me but I can’t ask him what he was really doing since he’s in a coma,” Dean answered a little angrily.

“I notice that, is there anything else?” Castiel inquired. Dean looked over at him confused but then his expression softened.

“No, that’s it, I think,” Dean said smiling.

“Do you want to go back to the hospital or home? I think Adam would understand if we went home,” Castiel asked

“If you want to go home you can, its okay,” Dean stated looking at his food.

“That’s not what I asked,” Castiel laughed.

“I know, I don’t know if I want to though,” Dean said skeptically

“Okay, I might go home unless Adam wants to, but call me if you decide you want to come home, sounds good?”

“Yeah okay,” Dean said eating the rest of his burger. Castiel smiled and looked out the window.

After a while of sitting there, Castiel paid the bill, grabbed the keys and Dean’s jacket and walked to the car with Dean. They were almost to the hospital when Castiel asked Dean again.

“Are you sure you want to go back? I could take you straight home and we could watch those movies, take your mind off of things,” Castiel leaned towards him a bit.

“Sure, but I’m going to call Adam to tell him to call me if anything happens,” Dean said pulling out his phone.

“Okay, sounds good,” Castiel said pulling onto their street.

Dean was on the phone for a minute then got out of the car when Cas pulled up to the curb. Castiel turned off the car and got out, following Dean to the building.

Castiel started the movies while Dean got them both some beers, he got three for himself and one for Castiel. Cas didn’t say anything, he knew what Dean was like. They watched the movie quietly, sitting close to each other.

By the time the movie was over Dean had consumed ten beers and was surprisingly tipsy. Castiel had to keep pushing him up into a sitting position, which caused them both to start laughing.

“I’m tired but I’m not like too tired. I could stay up a bit but only a little bit,” Dean slurred. Castiel got up, laughing, grabbed the bottles and took them to the kitchen. He could hear Dean follow him, he didn’t notice how close he was until Dean grabbed his wrist while Cas put the bottles on the counter.

Dean’s wandering hand moved down to Cas’s hand making Cas stop. Castiel turned around and looked at Dean, who was smiling.

“Dean, do you have something you want to say or do?” Castiel asked before moving past Dean to the living room.  
“I don’t know, maybe we should go to bed?” Dean smiled moving closer to Castiel. Castiel laughed and moved away.

“Dean, no, you’re drunk, you need to sleep,” Castiel tried to get to Dean to sit down at least.

“Yeah but me being drunk may be the best thing. When I’m sober I can’t tell you what I want, when I’m drunk it comes out easily. Cas, I love you,” Dean said reaching for Castiel’s hand.

Castiel didn’t know how to react; he just stood there looking at Dean.

“I think I have for a while but I just can’t admit it. I trust you more than anything and I love you more than anything,” Dean added moving closer.

“Dean, you’ve known me for a little less than a month, how is this even possible?” Castiel asked looking everywhere but Dean’s eyes.

“I don’t know but I just do, do you love me too?” Dean asked moving closer, closing the gap between them. Dean moved his head down to Castiel’s shoulder.

“I…I don’t…Dean, you need to go to sleep, I’ll take you,” Castiel said leading Dean to his room.

“I’m not tired, and you never answered the question,” Dean complained but followed Castiel to the back and flopped onto his bed. Castiel started to leave after putting Dean’s full body on the bed and covering him. Dean stopped him.

“Stay with me, just for tonight, please,” Dean asked groggily. Castiel never thought Dean would be like this, even if he was drunk. He was sure Dean was telling the truth but he wasn’t sure.

Castiel didn’t think a whole lot could happen if he slept with Dean once.

“Yeah, sure,” Castiel answered. He moved around the bed and slid in, laying on his back. Dean moved over and put an arm around Castiel but Dean was already asleep before he could say anything.

Castiel stayed up and listened to Dean breath. It was peaceful but Cas couldn’t get over what Dean said. Maybe it was the booze and Dean will forget all about it tomorrow. Part of Cas hoped Dean was telling the truth, he wanted it to be real.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if any of the information I give about the Sioux Falls area is wrong. I've been there once and I was a baby, I'm just kind of picturing it the way I want to. Anyway, thanks for still reading, sorry I didn't write for like a week, my dad doesn't have word and I had family around all the time barely had time to write. Enjoy!

Dean woke up the next morning with a huge headache. He rubbed his head with his left hand, and then he noticed why he didn’t use his right. It was underneath Castiel, who was fast asleep lying on his left side facing Dean.

Suddenly, Dean remembered what happened last night; he accidentally told Castiel he loved him. He was embarrassed now; he didn’t want to tell him, ever. He wanted it to slowly fade away, or for him to just accept it but never tell and slowly die while he goes to Castiel’s wedding. The latter seemed like the best idea; it didn’t feel like it was going to fade away, even though he really wanted it to.

He really hated liking Castiel, he was his new friend and they were really close. If this ruined everything Dean would never forgive himself. Dean then thought about how he asked Castiel if he loved him back.

Dean suddenly sat up, slipping his arm out from under Cas. Castiel never answered his question. Castiel never said if he was or not. Castiel didn’t love him back.

But he stayed with Dean when he asked, he stayed and slept with him, he allowed him to wrap his arms around him. Castiel barely put up a fight with him when he asked.

Dean might’ve been drunk but he wasn’t that drunk; he remembered most of it. He remembered how awkward Castiel had gotten when Dean touched his wrist. Castiel wouldn’t look at Dean when he told him.

Dean needed to stop thinking about this; he laid back down and closed his eyes softly. He felt something lightly touch his shoulder. He opened his eyes and looked over; it was Castiel, he had moved closer to Dean in his sleep. Dean put his arm around him, pulling him closer slowly. Dean lightly kissed Castiel’s forehead, causing Castiel to nuzzle more into Dean’s shoulder.

‘He looks adorable when he’s asleep,’ Dean thought looking down at Castiel’s soft features. ‘Maybe I don’t want to not love him. Maybe Sam and Adam had a point, we’re great together. I’ll ask during breakfast maybe’ Dean nodded and turned wrapping his arms around Castiel pulling him closer. Dean nuzzled his face into Castiel’s neck, breathing in the scent of him. Castiel barely stirred, he did make a small sound but pushed into Dean.

Dean felt happy entirely for once, he loved finally being this close to Castiel. Castiel was in a deep sleep and didn’t seem to be awake in a while. Dean didn’t mind, he wanted this to last forever, not that he would ever admit that to anyone but himself. He was content in staying this way until he heard the front door open slowly.

Dean wanted to act like he was asleep but if he did whoever it was would come into the room and see them wrapped up like this and he didn’t want anyone to know that this was happening.

He slowly detached Castiel from him and slipped out of bed. He was in only sweats and no shirt; he decided that didn’t really matter because whoever was here they obviously knew him well enough to come in.

Dean heard movement in Sam’s and he followed it. Who he saw was almost like a dream, Harry Spangler stood in his little brother’s room rummaging through some papers and boxes.

“Harry?” Dean asked breathlessly startling the short guy, who stood up quickly looking really flustered and nervous.

“Dean, I thought you would be staying at the hospital with your brother. I didn’t expect anyone to be home, I’m sorry,” Harry said quickly staying where he was in the middle of piles of paper.

“Why are you here? How did you know about Sam?” Dean asked staring at Harry in disbelief.

“I guess he really didn’t have a way of telling you anything because of the coma but Sam was on his way to see me in Lawrence when he crashed. He told me he was leaving at a time that he would originally leave if he were going to Adam’s so he doesn’t raise questions from you; he was supposed to be at my place by around noon the next day. When he didn’t make it and that’s how I knew things went bad or something, he wasn’t answering his phone or anything so I called Bobby, told him I was a family friend and he filled me in from there,” Harry explained all of it in his quick way of talking while wiping his hands on his legs like he normally does when he’s nervous.

“So why are you here? What are you looking for?” Dean asked looking down at the papers. Harry frowned and looked around him.

“I had sent something to Sam last Friday over email and asked him to print it out to give to you and he asked if he could visit for a week sometime. I’m looking for that letter, it wasn’t anything really important just some stupid things about us. I wrote it while we were still…talking,”

Last Friday, that was when Dean told Castiel about Harry, that’s when he let Cas into his personal life. Had Sam been listening the whole time and talked to Harry about it?

“L…last Friday? Sam talked to you, when, that night?” Dean asked Harry, leaning on the doorway for support.

“Yeah at like one in the morning, I was up because of school work anyway. Look, Dean, I know this may be hard for you, I mean your brother is in a coma; your ex-boyfriend is standing in your brother’s room saying he had a note for you but it was nothing. I’ll be out of here a minute, and then you’ll never have to see or hear from me again,” Harry said walking slowly to Dean.

Dean just nodded and looked up at Harry; he used to love that messy brown hair that always happened to be perfect. Harry was really skinny and short, he was always the perfect size for Dean.

“Dean, I uh…do have one question: when your dad caught us and I left early, I never saw or talked to you again, I know part of that was me but did you ever miss me? Did you ever think about what might’ve happened had we not been caught?” Harry asked looking down at his hands.

“I did for a long time, I missed you for a very long time but then one day I woke up and figured that you might’ve moved on and that I should too. My dad did kick me out though, I was already up here when I thought that, there wasn’t much I could’ve done if I still loved you. I’m really sorry if I hurt you, Harry, I didn’t mean for any of that to happen,” Dean apologized.

Harry nodded and looked up at Dean with sad eyes and a half smile on his face.

“We all have to get over our first love at some point, right?” Harry laughed a bit and turned back to the mess “I’ll clean this up, just tell Sam, when he gets back, to throw the note away. It didn’t matter anyway,” He slowly started picking up the mess.

“How long are you going to be here? Maybe I could make you some breakfast?” Dean offered.

“I’ll be here till noon, my flight leaves at 1:30. And sure I could go for some breakfast,” Harry said looking over at Dean smiling.

Dean pushed himself off the door frame and walked to the kitchen. He could only imagine what Sam and Harry had been talking about, but he would question Sam about that when he wakes up, if he wakes up.

Dean shouldn’t think about that now, too many things to deal with, get done with the one so far: dealing with Harry.

Dean quickly started making pancakes, Harry’s favorite. He remembered that because after he left he refused to ever eat pancakes again, brought up too many happy memories that Dean didn’t want to think about.

He was deep into thought when he heard small footsteps behind him. He didn’t turn around just kept baking.

“Who’s the guy in Sam’s room?” Castiel asked, quietly moving to the fridge. Dean didn’t turn around when he walked in. Castiel was also surprised when he woke up and there was no one next to him.

“That’s Harry, the one I told you about,” Dean answered moving a pancake off of the pan onto a plate.

“Really? Why is he here?” Castiel sat down, pouring a glass of milk and eating a banana.

“Sam apparently was going to meet him when he crashed outside of Sioux Falls; Harry came up to get something from Sam. He’s leaving at 1:20 for the airport; I thought I might make him some breakfast and catch up,”

Castiel nodded and put his feet on the chair next to him and looked over at the living room. Dean turned around in time to see Harry come in and stop in the doorway, looking from Dean to Castiel.

“You making pancakes?” Harry asked tilting his head a bit.

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to use my mix and I remembered you like it so might as well,” Dean answered bringing the plate of pancakes to the table, and then brought two plates and syrup.

Harry down across from Castiel, they hadn’t said a word to each other. Not that they didn’t want to but they didn’t know what to say.

“You have a message from Bobby by the way, Dean,” Castiel reported looking over at him.

“I’ll check it in a bit, there’s not much that he could tell me anyway,” Dean said sitting between Cas and Harry, who were stacking pancakes on their plates.

“Sometimes I forget how much I enjoy pancakes,” Castiel observed eating a bit.

“When I was little, we used to have them every day. Never once did I eat breakfast at school, mom always had pancakes ready when I got up,” Harry said smiling.

“We had a waffle maker that I used, I was always the first one up in the morning to I made my own breakfast,” Castiel explained.

“What’s your name? I’m Harry by the way,” Dean sat and watched while this happened, he liked it but was afraid that one of them would say something about him and piss the other off.

“Castiel, I’m a friend of Dean’s, I’ve heard a little bit about you,” Castiel said

Harry laughed and kept eating. Dean ate quietly, occasionally stealing a glance at Castiel, hoping they wouldn’t notice, Harry did though but didn’t say anything.

Dean heard his phone start ringing from the bedroom; he got up to answer it just in case it was important. Once he was out of the room, Harry looked up at Castiel.

“How much has Dean told you about me?” He asked quietly. Castiel looked up surprised.

“He told that his father you and Dean sitting on the couch together almost kissing. His dad freaked and kicked Dean out,” Castiel said quickly. Harry just nodded and looked over to the hallway; they could faintly hear Dean talking.

“Do you live here?” Harry asked moving his gaze back to Castiel.

“For now, my boyfriend, well technically he’s my ex, is a dick and Dean’s letting me stay here until my ex moves out of my house back to Britain,” Castiel explained eating a bit.

“Ah, I’m sorry, that sucks,” Harry said sentimentally.

“Meh, I’m just glad Dean let me in, I hadn’t known him for that long when I showed up on his doorstep one day asking for help. I feel bad sometimes but he doesn’t like it when I apologize too much,”

“Yeah, he hates is when people apologize profusely, it’s the only thing he ever yelled at me for,” Harry said laughing making Castiel laugh too. “Given his home life, the guy is too good,”

“Yeah, I heard about that, his dad seems like a grade A douche,” Castiel said leaning back.

“He wasn’t always, just after their mom died. John started drinking and never really stopped. Dean became a father to little Sammy and grew up too fast. I was friends with Dean when his mom died and had to watch him slowly become a grown up. I helped him sometimes but you know Dean, he just kind of doesn’t accept it when it’s given,”

“When did you two become a thing then?” Castiel asked

“I started coming over more often and it just kind of happened. There was one specific day when Dean had gotten done with a fight with his dad when his dad had come home; he was drunk out of his mind. Sam must’ve done something and John lashed out at him. Screamed at little Sam, scaring him. Sam was probably 10 at the time, making Dean 14. Dean butted in; yelling back at John, and John apparently hit him. Dean grabbed Sam and stormed out, they came over to my house. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Dean at his worse until that day,” Harry looked down.

He looked like he was going to say something else when they both noticed Dean walking back to them.

“Who was that?” Castiel asked watching Dean.

“Adam, he said that the doctors weren’t going to allow visitors, friends or family. They thought it best that Sam heals himself while in this comatose state. They’ll call if anything happens,” Dean answered walking to a cabinet and pulling out a glass.

“I thought they were already doing that?” Castiel pointed out, picking up his plate and taking it to the sink.

“They won’t let us stay in the waiting room either. Adam is going to the Roadhouse to talk to Ellen and Bobby. I can’t believe this happened so close to Christmas, Ellen is afraid they won’t be able to wake him up in time which will be a problem considering Ellen is Ellen,” Dean observed pouring a glass of milk.

“Surely he has to be better by next week, the kid looks strong enough to pull through fast enough,” Harry chimed in.

“Oh well, he’ll be better before next week probably. They want to do an MRI but aren’t going to until he wakes up,” Dean said moving behind Castiel to put his dish in the sink.

Harry looked over at the clock, it was one o’clock, he had twenty minutes before he had to leave and he wanted to talk to Dean alone.

“I should probably go by 1:10 but if you do find anything out about Sam, call me. I want to make sure he’s okay,” Harry said standing up and bringing his plate to the sink for Castiel. Castiel gave him a small smile before Harry walked back to his chair.

Castiel quickly washed the dishes and put the plates in the way they were supposed to be. Sam had showed him Dean’s process one day while Dean was at work.

Big plates had to be on the bottom aligned so that they were all going the same way, matching. Then the smaller plates go on top, same way as the bigger ones. Taller cups go to the back of the right of the cabinet; medium cups go in the middle, smaller on the left. Those are glass cups only. Plastic cups go into each other and are stacked on the top shelf. Bowls are stacked into each other and placed in the middle shelf between glass cups and plastic cups. Silverware is split into sections of forks, knives, spoons, bigger spoons. The drawer next to those is split into sections again for wooden spoons, ladles, and a random assortment (that was Dean’s least favorite part).

It was ridiculous, but organized. Castiel liked it; it gave him something to do.

“Do you want me to drive you to the airport?” Dean asked looking over at Harry.

“If you want, I was just going to take a cab,” Harry replied shrugging.

“Nah, I’ll drive you, let me go grab my jacket and keys,” Dean said leaving for his bedroom.

Harry stood up and stretched a bit, the walked over to where Castiel was leaning against the sink.

“It was nice meeting you, Castiel. I hope all that crap with your boyfriend works out,” Harry said extending a hand. Castiel took it and nodded.

“It was nice meeting you too and me too, honestly,” Castiel laughed

“Take care of Dean for me, he’s always been the type to keep bad stuff down and not talk about anything until it’s too late,” Harry pointed out putting his hands in his pockets. “You two seem like really good friends, I’m glad he has you,”

“Thank you, and I will, I care about Dean like he is one of my brothers, even though I have a lot,”

Dean came back and looked at Harry, waiting. Harry nodded and smiled at Castiel, then walked out the door. Dean stopped and looked at Castiel for a minute until he remembered they had to go.

Harry told Dean a little bit about what happened when he left, how everyone seemed surprised that Dean Winchester ever left Lawrence. But once they had heard what happened because of a drunken John at a bar one night felt the need to broadcast everything that happened, they all understood.

They all looked at Harry differently now though, everyone knew he was gay now, which caused a fight between Harry and one of his friends.

But then he met a guy named Ed Zeddmore. They became great friends; they had multiple things in common. They both liked the supernatural, they loved scary movies and both of them secretly loved each other. Granted, Ed wasn’t sure about it until one drunken night and a conveniently placed Harry. Then it was smooth sailing.

“So we’re going steady, although Ed will sometimes have doubts but I tend to swing him back,” Harry said laughing. He looked down at his hands resting in his lap.

“That’s great, I’m happy for you,” Dean said smiling.

“Yeah,” Harry said idly “So, Castiel seems great,”

“Yeah, he is, he’s like a part of the family,” Dean replied

“Or more than,”

“What do you mean,” Harry looked over with a smirk.

Dean really didn’t know, he really didn’t know how evident it was to others that he loved Castiel. Maybe he didn’t even know he did, maybe he thought it was just a mutual thing.

“I mean, you like him, which is okay I mean a guy like that is hard to pass up. Good looks, perfect attitude, great personality, he’s legit the whole package. So do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Do you love him?” Harry asked leaning towards him, anticipating the answer.

Dean looked like he was contemplating the thought when in actuality he was worried. Worried because if Harry knew it then that means Sam and Adam could see it to and Castiel probably knew. This worried Dean more, what if Castiel really didn’t like him back and he was going after someone completely unreachable. That would kill Dean and bring him down more; he wouldn’t be able to take that anymore.

“I don’t know, not sure, I do love him like a brother though,” Dean answered after a bit. They just turned out onto the highway leading to the airport a couple miles out of Sioux Falls.

“I’ve never seen you look at Sam that way,” Harry mumbled looking out the window.

“What?” Dean asked glancing over.

“Well, you stare at him like he’s about to leave forever, you smile the biggest smile I have ever seen on those thin little lips of yours when he glances your way, you steal glances at him without him even knowing, you keep trying to get as close to him as you can. Need I go on?” Harry said turning back to Dean.

Dean fell silent, Harry had a point. He must’ve noticed and knew the whole time. Was it really that evident or was it just Harry because he was used to reading Dean’s emotions?

“So I’ll ask you again, do you love him?”

“Yes, I do, I like him a lot actually, I just can’t tell him,” Dean finally admitted taking the off ramp to the airport.

“Why not, he likes you back obviously,” Harry smiled

“How do you know?”

“Please, like I didn’t notice him walk out of your room this morning. I might’ve had my back to the door but I heard the footsteps. He slept with you last night, if he didn’t like you he would’ve left last night the minute you fell asleep,”

“Maybe I wouldn’t let him go, maybe he fell asleep before me,” Dean countered.

“He could’ve found a way and he wouldn’t have fallen asleep if he was uncomfortable. Trust me, the guy likes you. Ask him out,” Harry said grabbing his book bag from the back seat as they pulled into the airport entrance.

Dean came to a full stop and Harry got out, only to turn around as Dean rolled down the window letting in cold wind.

“Just ask him out before that douchebag of a boyfriend he has changes his mind and wants him back. Goodbye, Dean, I’ll visit sometime maybe and I’ll bring Ed,” Harry smiled and laughed, hitting the Impala’s roof and walking into the airport, turning around once to smile and wave at Dean.

Dean was awestruck, but now he had something he knew he had to accomplish before the weekend. Ask Castiel out.


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel was surprised, how could this possibly be true? Dean just asked him out, for real. What could Harry possibly have said to him that would have the guy come to the apartment, throw down his keys, grab Castiel and loudly ask him to dinner tonight. He was sure to make it obvious it was a date too by saying that he had to dress his very best.

Castiel was dumbfounded; Dean gave him no warning other than the fact that they slept together which was still going through Cas’s brain because he can’t believe that happened.

“Dean, I would love to but why are you asking me like this?” Castiel asked confused. Dean smiled brightly and let go of Cas; throwing his arms out.

“Isn’t it obvious? I love you, Cas, I don’t know why it took me this long to figure it out but we have to go out and it has to be tonight,” Dean yelled.

Castiel just stared at him awestruck, he didn’t know how to answer. He wanted to, oh god he wanted to, but then again maybe Dean wasn’t okay. Maybe this was a form of grief or he just wasn’t thinking of consequences.

“Dean, what do you mean you love me?” Castiel asked skeptically looking at Dean.

“I love you, you’re always there when I want someone to talk to or just hang out with. You are a great cook and you’ve picked up my cleaning and organizing habits even though I know Sam showed you. You treat Sam like he is your sibling but you turn it around when you talk to me. You don’t have to like me back, I just want one night, one small date and then if you don’t like me I’ll back off,” Dean looked at Castiel with curious eyes.

He didn’t look like he was pleading; he looked like he was just excited for the answer. Like a child basically but not so innocent or wanting.

“Uhhh…yeah that would be great, sure, where at?” Castiel asked looking up at Dean questioningly.

“Oh, crap, I don’t know, I’ll figure it out, I promise,” Dean said running to his room.

Castiel watched as he walked quickly away, he was still so confused but ignored it and went back to watching tv. He heard muffled talking from the bedroom, then heard a quick yell and Dean walked out looking happily at Castiel.

“Be ready by 7, I’m driving though,” Dean said grabbing his keys off the floor and went for the door.

“Where are you going now?” Castiel asked fake annoyance in his voice.

“I’m just gonna go out, just like do some stuff, I’ll be by around 7 to pick you up,” Dean said opening the door grabbing his jacket, “Be dressed nicely,”

Dean shut the door as Castiel stared as he left, confused and excited. What had possibly gotten into Dean? Whatever it was, Castiel was happy it happened, he had waited for this day since they first met.

Castiel had spent the next few hours watching tv and nervously pacing in front of the little suitcase he used for his clothes. He had nothing, he could think of nothing to wear. Then it dawned on him; he had a suit that he had to wear to one of Balthazar’s banquets that his art studio hosted every year. Balthazar always made Castiel go because he said it helped improve his image around the art industry, Castiel hated it because he hated people.

He looked at the clock, it was 6:20, Balthazar would be at the studio working last minute on a painting or sculpture. His art wasn’t even that good but Cas never had the heart to tell him that he hated them. But the house would be empty, enough time for Castiel to slip in, grab the suit and leave.

Castiel grabbed his keys and ran out locking the door behind him. He quickly started up the cold car; it took forever for it to warm up so Castiel left it going while he ran in to get the suit.

Just as he though, the house was empty. He slipped in easily because Balthazar never locked the door despite all of Castiel’s past complaints about it.

He ran to their room hoping that Balthazar had not gotten rid of it or put it somewhere else. It was at the back of the closet like always. Castiel grabbed that and one of his nicer smelling colognes. He ran back out to a warmer car and drove quickly back to the apartment.

It was 6:35, he had to hurry, thankfully he was used to having to put on a three-piece suit in under 10 minutes, even though he had longer. He took the shortest shower he had ever thought he could take, put on the suit, combed his hair, and finished it all off with the colognes. He looked at himself in the mirror, he liked this suit. It was tailored to fit him, birthday gift from Balthazar.

The whole suit was black but you could faintly see the plaid markings on it that were dark green. The buttons were polished hand crafted gold with an eagle symbol. Castiel looked good, his hair slicked back, not a single fiber stood up.

He looked over at the clock; it was 6:55, five more minutes. He didn’t know what to do in that time; he was ready and honestly really excited. He heard his phone ring from the living room, on the couch. Castiel walked out to answer it, it was a text from Dean saying _“Coming to get you, be down waiting by the road in 3, see you then”_

Castiel sighed and looked around, he was worried now for no reason. He was nervous, yeah nervous not worried. He fidgeted with his suit. Was he too over dressed? Maybe he should change and just wear a nice shirt. No, Dean said to look nice. But where could they be going if he needed to be dressed this nice? There weren’t a whole lot of nice restaurants in the area around them. What if Dean was joking about the whole nice thing?

Castiel sent a message to Dean quickly _“If you get here and I’m not down there, come up. I might not be ready, see you soon.”_ Castiel quickly paced the living room; he had a minute till he had to go down there and wait for him. He went back and forth between changing quickly, or staying the same way and dealing with the awkwardness if it was too much.

Finally he decided, he’d stay like this but at least mess up his hair so it didn’t look too formal. Oddly enough, his hair actually cooperated, going back to its original fluff and messiness. You could still see the stuff he used to slick it down but that didn’t matter; it looked like he didn’t care that much at least.

He heard his phone ring again and he answered it quickly.

 _‘I’m here, I’ll wait for a bit, but hurry,’_ the message said. Cas sighed and looked in the mirror. He guessed he looked okay, but he was still worried. He just had to go down there, he had to do this.

Grabbing his phone off the counter, shutting off the lights and walking out the door not locking it before going. He walked swiftly down the stairs and stopped when he go to the doors.

The doors had huge windows in the middle through which you could see out to the street. Currently standing by a nice clean black Impala, silhouetted in the window was Dean Winchester holding something in his hands that Castiel couldn’t quite make out.

Opening the door, Castiel stepped out slowly. Dean’s smile brightened at the sight of Castiel in front of him. Castiel stood in awe staring between Dean and the car and the thing in Dean’s hands. They were really red roses, it surprised Castiel. Dean was not the type of person anyone would think would bring flowers on the first date.

Dean must’ve noticed Castiel looking at the flowers because he cleared his throat and said

“Yeah, I’m not really one for being romantic and I didn’t know if this was a good touch or too much?” he smiled shyly at Castiel.

“They’re great, but why?” Castiel asked walking closer.

“Why what? Why the suit and clean car and flowers? I thought I might treat you nicely this time, you know, do something I’ve never done before,” Dean said opening the passenger door for Castiel as he came closer.

“This is really cheesy, I know but bear with me, please,” Dean said as Castiel got in.

Dean shut the door and walked around the front to the driver’s side. He lightly placed the flowers in the back seat and put the car in drive.

“Where are we going?” Castiel asked quietly as Dean drove.

“It’s a surprise, but you’ll love it. I hope at least. I’ve taken every precaution to make sure nothing goes wrong. Adam is on Sam duty making sure if anything happens he waits to tell me which makes me sound mean but you know. Bobby and Ellen helped me choose the place because they went here on their first date,” Dean said.

He headed towards the busier part of town with the restaurants and markets. I looked out the window trying to figure out where we could be going. Cas had no clue, not one. Dean looked determined though which calmed Castiel.

Dean pulled off the interstate and navigated through the busy streets. Now Castiel was even more at a loss. They could be going anywhere. Finally, Dean pulled off into the parking lot of a really nice restaurant. The name was in French so Castiel couldn’t really make it out, but it looked really nice.

Dean put the car in park and stepped out, running to the other side to open Castiel’s. Castiel stepped out slowly and looked over at Dean while he shut the door. Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand and led him inside.

Dean had apparently made reservations because they got a seat instantly. After ordering drinks and their food, Dean spoke up.

“This isn’t my usual thing, I normally just kind of take them to a mildly okay place but you are different. I feel like I should treat you better, not sure why but I do. Maybe because your last relationship wasn’t really all that good, so I brought  that up with Ellen on the way home from dropping Harry off, you have him to thank by the way, she gave me some ideas and told me to meet her at the Roadhouse as soon as possible,” Dean explained looking over at Castiel. Castiel looked at Dean while he continued, “I came told you, then went to see Ellen. This suit is Bobby’s, the flowers were bought by Jo and the reservations made by Ellen,”

Castiel smiled and looked around.   
“They came here for their first date, huh? It’s a nice place,” Castiel praised the restaurant. Dean watched as Castiel looked around with a smile on his face that reached his ocean blue eyes. The sight made Dean happier and smile a little bit wider.

The waiter came up and gave them their drink which was some really nice looking wine, Ellen’s idea. She basically told Dean what to do and how to act; she had stressed the fact that he had to be polite and nice for once. He hoped that he was doing what he was supposed to, he was actually really nervous for the first time in his life. This had to be a good sign, right?

Castiel looked over at Dean, who was still staring at him with a smile, and Dean swears he saw Castiel’s smile get brighter and wider. Cas took a small sip of his wine then looked up at Dean.

“This is really great, Dean but why so sudden? Why did you get the sudden impulse to ask me out on a date and not just any date but an extremely beautiful one? You said to thank Harry but why?” Castiel asked scowling

“Harry and I were talking on the way to airport and apparently my feelings for you were more out there than I thought,” Dean said looking down shyly. “So he told me to just go with it and I figured might as well before I lose my sudden rush of self-assurance,”

Castiel laughed and nodded

“I’m glad, I’ve kind of been waiting for you to ask me, although I’ve never had the guts to so how can I talk,” Castiel laughed a bit.

Dean looked up and over at Castiel, a smile on the edge of his lips. Dean looked happy, and he also looked like he was just finally able to relax. Castiel was really excited about this.

“I was worried that you wouldn’t really want to on the way back but I thought I might as well go for it. I’m sorry if this gets awkward though,” Dean laughed a little bit.

A few minutes later a waiter came up to give them their food, which surprised Castiel. He would’ve thought that a packed place like this it would’ve taken longer.

“Did you hear anything about your brother by the way?” Castiel asked grabbing his fork and knife to cut his steak, it was the size of the plate which was, itself, pretty big. He glanced up at Dean for a bit, trying to read his expression. It still seemed calm though.

“Uh, Adam called and said he was being tested on for brain injuries and that stuff, he showed signs during the night of waking up but they went away quickly,” Dean answered not looking up.

“I’m sorry, but he’ll be fine, he’ll pull through and everything will be the same,” Castiel said trying to help him. He didn’t want this whole thing to upset Dean, he knew Sam would be fine but Dean didn’t seem like he did.

“I hope so,” Dean muttered cutting his food slowly.

“I have one quick question that I’ve been meaning to ask you, how did you come up with your cleaning system?” Castiel asked changing the subject quickly

“It was my mom’s way of cleaning,” Dean answered, smiling a little bit. “She taught it to me when I was younger so I could help her when we cleaned. There’s a certain order that she followed with everything in the house. The way you cleaned, the organizational method,”

Dean’s eyes got a faraway look in them, like he was going through every memory he had of his mother.

Castiel liked seeing Dean look like that, he looked tranquil and happy. Castiel smiled softly at Dean.

The only time he had ever seen Dean look so happy was when they went to the Roadhouse with Sam. Dean has been happy before with Castiel but he’s never willing showed it this much. Castiel knew it would take time for Dean to actually talk to him about his mother or even his father. The most he knew about his dad was that he was a mean drunk that put too much responsibility on Dean when their mom died.

Dean became a father to Sam and it showed in the way Dean treated Sam. Castiel felt that Dean sometimes forgot that they were brothers; that his one job in life is to watch Sam and protect Sam.

Castiel didn’t know much about Dean’s mom, only about how she died. Castiel can tell that Dean was really close with her and loved being with her all the time.

Castiel wished he had that with his mom, he hated that his parents wouldn’t even acknowledge his existence. Sometimes he envied Dean and his relationship with his brother and his past relationship with his mom. Castiel would never be able to admit that to Dean though.

Castiel was so deep into his thoughts about his family that he didn’t hear Dean.

“What?” Dean asked again looking at Castiel questioningly. Cas was smiling at him, probably deep in thought. “Castiel?”

That snapped Castiel out of his thoughts surprisingly, his expression changing to confusion.

“Sorry, I started thinking about something and lost track of everything,” Castiel apologized looking over the table at Dean’s worried eyes that quickly softened at his words.

“It’s okay, I get it. Tell me something about your family,” Dean asked eating a bit. “I mean I know that you’re parents aren’t exactly that great and you probably didn’t get a lot of support from any of your family but I want to know more,”

“Like what exactly,” Castiel asked scowling. Why did he care?

“Your siblings’ names first,”

“Well, the oldest is Michael, he’s kind of the follow the rules, don’t mess up type kid. He goes out of his way to make my parents love him and praise him. Then there’s Raphael, he is in a race type thing with Michael. Raphi likes to think that he is higher than the rest of us, he acts smarter, he tries harder, and he likes the attention that my parents give him. The one thing Raphi is actually good at is pissing them off anyway,” Castiel smiled at the last bit.

Castiel stopped for a bit gathering his thoughts. He hated thinking or talking about his family but he wanted to tell Dean because he seemed curious and didn’t care either.

“After his is Anna, she is something else. She’s lively and happy all the time. My grandparents used to say that when she was a drop of sunlight; picked off and placed here just by God. She smiles and you can’t help but smile with her. Her twin is Naomi, she is the complete opposite of Anna, it’s like they aren’t even twins sometimes. Naomi, like Michael and Raphael, wants to show my parents that she’s more than just another daughter. She wants them to be proud of her more than the others,” Castiel shifted a bit in his seat.

“Then there’s Gabriel, he is like Anna in a lot of ways but he doesn’t want my parents’ attention as much as the rest. He wants to just do what he wants and doesn’t want anyone to rule his life. Which is probably why he treats me better, he doesn’t care what I am or what I do as long as I’m alive and well. That’s why he wants me to come back for Christmas,” Castiel muttered the last part.

“Go back, make thing right with your family,” Dean offered as help. Castiel quickly shook his head.

“I can’t do that, Dean. The minute I step foot into that house I’ll be bombarded by questions and insults. The only ones that’ll talk to me are my grandparents and Gabriel. I’ll be lucky if I get to even eat,”

“What if I come with?” Dean asked nonchalantly, taking a sip of wine.

“What? No, you won’t ever meet my family, never,” Castiel said quickly causing Dean to give him a questioning look. “You won’t be put in that situation. You’ll be interrogated and put on trial right at the table, trust me you won’t like it,”

“I’ll bring Sam, he wants to be a lawyer anyways,” Dean joked.

“This is not a joke, Dean. The minute you walk through the door every eye will be on you and me until we leave that night,”

Dean sat back and looked at Castiel questioningly. He was going through everything in his head, working out a plan.

“What if we don’t leave that night though?” Dean asked suddenly, catching Castiel off guard.

“What?” Castiel asked exasperated, what had he gotten himself into?

“We don’t leave, we stay there, torment your parents and siblings, let them see how happy you are and how much you don’t care,” Dean said simply as if this was just something normal people did all the time. Devise a plan for Castiel’s parents to accept their gay son, normal and original of course.

“But I do care, they’ll know I care, they can read me like a book,” Castiel said surprised that Dean was even contemplating this idea. Why did he even care?  
“I’ll go and everything will be great, if they make a mean comment I’ll lead you away before you can react,” Dean said, he treated this like it was nothing.

Castiel stared at Dean confused, he didn’t want Dean to meet his family for a lot of reasons but he couldn’t tell Dean that and he wasn’t going to have to ever.

After a minute of Castiel thinking this over, he quickly changed the subject.

“Why don’t you talk about your family? I know most of it, like the stuff about your father and how you had to raise your brother but there has to be some good and funny memories,” Castiel tried. Dean smiled like he was remembering something.

That was such a sincere smile, Castiel loved looking at it.

“I told you about the time we were up on the shed and I had to take Sam to the hospital. Well, there was one time, after the accident, when Sam was bed ridden and on drugs because of the pain and he was just out of it. He had taken more than he should’ve that day but it was funny. Because I was the reason he got hurt my dad put me in charge of taking care of him, I had to answer to his every beck ‘n call, this particular day he was annoying the crap out of me. It was all ‘Dean, I need more soup, don’t forget the meds,’ and ‘Dean, the orange juice is out, can you get me more?’ it was driving me crazy. I came into the room and said ‘Sammy, leave me alone for five minutes, my show is on and I’m trying to watch it,’ he gave me the most sarcastic looking glance ever and said ‘You are the reason I am slowly dying, you put me in this state of unmovingness and I wish to god your character dies,’ and fell asleep instantly,” Dean laughed a bit, Castiel couldn’t help but smile.

“He was so pissed that his meds kicked in and he passed out. When he woke up he was ready to run around, said he felt like he never broke his leg. He stood up and fell straight down, face first into the carpet of the apartment room. It was so funny. My dad came home though and heard Sam say that he tried to walk but he fell, my dad just went off,” Dean said eyes growing dark.

Castiel snapped him back by lightly touching his hand, causing Dean to look up at him from across the table. Cas could see the small smile playing at Dean’s lips.

Those lips, they put Castiel into a trance, they were thin and looked soft almost. They were all Castiel could look at on some days.

Dean noticed this and asked the waiter that was walking by for the check.

“Sir, it’s been paid by a woman named Ellen Harvell, she said she wishes you two have a nice time,” the young man answered.

“Ah, awesome, thank you,” Dean said smiling.

“No problem, sir, have a nice night,” he smiled then walked away.

Dean turned to Castiel, who looked surprised, and told him to grab his stuff.

“Hold onto whatever thought you have and let’s get now,” Dean said standing up quickly, Castiel smiled and stood, following Dean to the car.

This was the best night of Castiel’s entire life.


End file.
